Top 10 Shows of 2014

Hey, remember last year when I listed my top ten shows of 2013?  Well, time is one cruel (flat-chested, if Rust Cohle is to be believed) mistress, so I must now expound on the best shows of 2014.  It was a pretty quick year, wouldn’t you reckon?  I mean, television assaulted us from so many angles that I’m surprised I managed to find the time to, you know, engage in human contact with others.

In addition to the standard networks pumping out the goods, reliable cable and streaming providers, like HBO, Showtime, FX, AMC, and Netflix, found themselves engaged in veritable fisticuffs with the likes of Amazon Prime, Starz, and Cinemax, all three of whom made their presences known as equally capable of delivering outstanding programming.  That all adds up to excellent news for consumers–inundated as we’ve been with brilliant television–but also comprises an overwhelming crop of shows from which to select.

There’s no way to watch everything out there these days, so any list therefore feels incomplete.  For instance, I never got around to shows like Broad City or Review, though they’re very much on my radar and might even have landed in my top ten.  But even when it comes to the shows I do watch, ten hardly seems like enough slots to fill in this era of television excellence.  And yet, I tried my best to do just that after much deliberation and reflection.

Top 10 Television Shows of 2014:

1) Fargo (FX)

2) Transparent (Amazon)

3) Game of Thrones (HBO)

4) The Americans (FX)

5) True Detective (HBO)

6) The Good Wife (CBS)

7) Silicon Valley (HBO)

8) Louie (FX)

9) Veep (HBO)

10) Shameless (Showtime)

Honorable Mentions: The Comeback, Hello Ladies, Southcliffe, Orange is the New Black, Parks and Recreation, Parenthood, Person of Interest, Boardwalk Empire, You’re the Worst, Nurse Jackie, Masters of Sex, Homeland, Banshee, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, In the Flesh, The Affair, Sherlock, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Enlisted, Penny Dreadful, Outlander, The Mindy Project, and Serial

 

Spotlight – Transparent

The spiritual successor to the all-time great Six Feet Under, creator and SFU alumna Jill Soloway’s Transparent is an achingly beautiful and bitingly funny dramedy that also happens to be Amazon’s first taste of prestige television.  For a show grounded in topics of gender and sexual identity, Transparent is a brilliantly universal series plumbing the depths of melancholy and uncertainty that plague us all.  Jeffrey Tambor (recent Golden Globe winner) is a revelation as the show’s centerpiece, Maura Pfefferman, the one-time patriarch who bravely comes out to her trio of children as trans.  To say anything else about this series would be to spoil its myriad delights, but suffice it to say that if you stream one series in the course of your viewing, it had better be this one.

 

Did I miss the mark or omit your favorite show?  Let me know! #accidentalrhyme

Downton Abbey, S05E01: “Episode 1”

an episode reminding us all the importance of “not having the brain of a kipper.”

How have you been, fellow Downtonites? Have you used the hiatus between seasons to rinse the taste of disappointment in your mouth left behind by last year’s middling effort?  Feeling minty fresh?  Well, I hope so because there’s something wonderfully comforting about starting  a new year off with a fresh installment of television’s best soapy satire of British exceptionalism, regardless of last season’s spotty track record.  Besides, it seems like showrunner Julian Fellowes used his time off to commune with the devil or sacrifice virgins or something because holy cow, you guys, I think he might have righted the ship?  I mean, this episode flew by, and I loved every minute of it.

A sense of liberation pervaded this opening hour and imbued the characters we’ve grown to love with a renewed sense of purpose.  Downton has been beating the drums of change for years now, but after seasons of thematic musings on tradition versus modernity, it seems like payoffs are afoot.  If Robert Crawley is to be believed, the bandleader is none other than Labor Party Prime Minister MacDonald, whose shakeup of Britain’s government has trickled down to the humble Downton estate on the eve of Cora and Robert’s thirty-fourth wedding anniversary.  And, while my hopes of an extended montage featuring Mrs. Padmore, dusted in flour, baking an epic cake to the tune of  “Everybody’s Working For the Weekend” were dashed, I still loved this episode’s insistence on change.  Go figure!

I mean, take Lady Mary, for instance.  Girl, you makin’ me clutch my pearls and blush like a hot-house tomato with your dirty mind!***  Turns out, in light of her recent love triangle she’s been sharing with #BlaketheSnake and #Gillinghammer, the little lady’s been turning to Lady Cunnard for tips.  Like no pants dance tips that induced near fainting.  After a pleasant stroll through the Downton estate during which Mary admits to loving #Gillinghammer in her own cold, unfeeling way (her words, not mine, but preach!), he flouts with convention, busts up into her room after hours and straight up proposes fireside sexin’ like the horn dog he is, and Mary’s all, “Gillinghammer my nails, Bob Villa!”  Girl, you bad!

***To be fair, Mary alone cannot shoulder the burden of randiness.  Mr. Bates, ever the saucy rascal, just comes out and tells Anna he wouldn’t mind making kids the old-fashioned way.  Meanwhile, Jimmy takes an express train to Cougar Town, next stop Lady Anstruther, caving into his carnal needs in a move that seems like it will spell his exit from the show, but more on that later.  My goodness, is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?  Oh, no, never mind–Moseley just set a tablecloth on fire.  Classic Moseley!

Meanwhile, everyone’s favorite curmudgeonly traditionalist, Mr. Carson, finds himself unwittingly caught up in the tidal wave of change when a committee planning to construct a memorial to local soldiers killed in the Great War elects him as chairman.  Flummoxed, the head butler cannot fathom a world in which he would be selected over Robert Crawley (Or should I call him Donk?), but even the Earl concedes that change is coming whether they like it or not, and the answer for both is not.  Definitely not.  For Robert, it’s enough tumult to make a man wax poetic about the simpler times when people relied on and needed Grandpappy Crawley***; still it’s tough toenails for the two, and Carson uses his new authority to manipulate the committee into giving Robert a position as patron.  You learn quickly, Mr. Carson.  Next stop Parliament?  (Oh God, please let that be Carson’s arc next season…)

***For a brief, awkward moment, I swore Mary’s sex-addled brain had caused irreversible damage when she leaned in to comfort Robert and said, “I want you.” *Insert record scratch.* Um, girl?  You and I need to have a quick li’l chat on the importance of phrasing, okay? 

If there’s one character free to do whatever the hell she wants, then it’s Violet Crawley, and she was a hoot this episode, and not just because she throws what is, without hyperbole, the GREATEST. LUNCHEON. EVER.  Dicky Merton still has the hots for Isobel Crawley, though she refuses to pay him any mind.  Enter the Dowager, who invites the eternally-on-the-prowl Lady Shackleton and Dr. Clarkson, the erstwhile unrequited love puppet of Isobel, to shake things up because she’s jealous of Isobel’s possible happiness?  Threatened?  Bored?   Regardless, there ain’t no party like a Crawley tea party, and things get off to a spicy start when Lady Shackleton walks up to Merton to ask him how his lovely garden is doing, which I frankly found a bit forward.  But maybe Violet’s machinations are backfiring because, though pleased with the social smoke bomb at first, didn’t I detect a whiff of jealousy baking off Isobel later on?

Okay, okay.  Enough is enough.  I’ve managed to contain my excitement, but I no longer can.  Grab your hair dye because it’s time for #MoseleyWatch.  You guys, I loved this plot so much my heart feels like it’s going to explode.  Seriously, has anything greater happened in your life than watching Moseley dye his hair black and strut around to see how many people would notice?  (Though, if we’re being honest with each other, I think the only person he hopes will notice is Ms. Baxter.)  From Robert insisting Moseley is looking “very Latin all of a sudden” to Carson’s put-upon look of disdain as he stares at Moseley’s dome, this was Downton at its comedic best, featuring an all-time classic punchline: Robert demanding Moseley be stripped of his serving duties and kept downstairs until his hair stops turning blue.  I laughed, I cried, I thanked all the deities in the heavens for bestowing the gloriousness of this plotline upon us.  More of this always forever.

Speaking of the inability to outrun the person you truly are, Branson is still around apparently and doing his Branson thing of talking to Robert about how much life at Downton has changed him and making us yawn and check our watches (do people still wear watches?) in the meantime.  Seriously, this plot hasn’t advanced since Sybil’s death, and I’m growing tired of it.  Fortunately, hope seems to have appeared on the narrative horizon!  After Rose conspires to invite his #hotforteacher crush, Sarah Bunting, to Cora and Robert’s anniversary celebration, the teacher’s presence at dinner makes for an epic clashing of belief systems.***

***Fortunately, before dinner, #Gillinghammer, atwitter with incomprehensible excitement, inquires Mary and Branson about the status of the pigs.  Seriously, Downton? Is this bizarre fetishizing of pig farming just never going to disappear from this show?  Because I’m starting to feel like we’re in it for the long haul with this one…

Following Robert’s unexpectedly genuine toast of Cora, Sarah, uncomfortable with the opulence of Downton and not shy about expressing it, climbs atop her soapbox and begins spouting off about the pointlessness of war.  You know, perfect getting-to-know you conversation starters.  Well, this really chaps Robert’s rump, but Isobel intervenes and gets all crunchy-granola about the conviction of youth, which just further pickles Robert’s onions, and let’s just say things got…weird.  Salud!  Family dinners, am I right?

All this talk of freedom makes me think of the one character still confined by the societal norms of the time.  That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, cue the sad trombone because it’s time to catch up with #SadEdith.  We first meet up with the saddest sack of Crawley pedaling over to the Drewe’s house to go creeping on her daughter, Marigold.  Apparently, she’s been coming around a hell of a lot lately to spread her sad-sack misery all over, leading Mrs. Drewe to suspect Edith has designs on her husband.  Mr. Drewe wants to assuage his wife’s suspicions while also allowing Edith to see Marigold regularly, so he devises a plan, the particulars of which, it seems (if the Next On segment proves an indication), we’ll learn next week.

But the trials and tribulations of #SadEdith do not end there.  Early on in the episode, Edith receives a copy of a book from the possibly-beaten-to-death-by-a-group-of-Nazis Mr. Gregson.  In a fit of despondency that even has Mary telling Edith to cheer up (thanks, girl!), she does what any rational person would do: toss the book into a fireplace and send the place up in flames.  Ha!  Typical Edith…

Thomas, skulking around to serve as Jimmy’s lookout while he’s doing naked cha-cha with Lady Anstruther, rushes in to save Edith from the conflagration.***  Robert rushes from room to room, barging in on Jimmy, who should be, ya know, helping his employers in this time of crisis, mid-thrust at other business.  The confluence of the episode’s many overlapping plotlines during this well staged sequence was a great button on the end of the episode, replete with #sillyfiremen in ridiculous hats, and I don’t just mean any old ridiculous hats but THE most ridiculous hats.  You’ll be in awe of them is my point. #hatpuns

***A fortunate turning of events for our beloved lecherous footman, as his threatening of Baxter backfires (he’s still trying to get to the bottom of the Bates/Anna situation, just ugh) when she confesses to her crime of stealing to Lady Cora, who directs her rage more at Thomas than Baxter for his recommendation to hire her.  However, nothing helps clear up a kerfuffle in the workplace like saving one’s daughter from burning to death in a fire, so live and let live, sayeth Lady Cora!

But wait, the surprises don’t end there!  Turns out Mr. Drewe ain’t just your average farmer but a jack-of-all-trades; yup, that’s him lurking under one of those majestic hats, and he has news for Edith: an idea to secure her place in Marigold’s life while not upsetting his marriage.  But before he can reveal the deets, Mrs. Hughes, keeper of all Downton’s secrets, stumbles into the conversation.  Oh snap! Looks like when homegirl’s not sipping sherry with Mr. Carson and the person on the planet I most want to get drunk with, Mrs. Padmore, she’s blowing up truthbombs all over the Downton estate.

Elsewhere, Daisy explores her options post-Downton by sneaking maths problems at the kitchen table, Bates prods #Gillinghammer, who still needs a new not-dead valet, about the late Mr. Green, Rose hands out awards at a school assembly because reasons, and Isis continues to have the most unfortunate name of any pet on television.

Until next time, Downtonites!

 

Snippets of Intrigue

– Violet: “There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like.  It’s avoiding one’s friends that’s the true test.”

– Carson: “If you can both tear yourselves away from your smutty deliberations, you’re needed upstairs.”

– Carson: “I feel a shaking of the ground I stand on.”

– Carson: “The nature of life is not permanence but flux.”

– Robert: “Moseley, you’re looking very Latin all of a sudden.”

– Violet: “Principles are like prayers: noble, of course, but awkward at a party.”

– Carson: “Is everything all right, my lord?”

Robert: “No, it certainly isn’t.  And can you please keep Moseley in the kitchen until his hair stops turning blue?”

2014, or The Year of the Series Finale

I’m just going to come right out and say it: 2014 was one cruel mistress from a television standpoint as show after show found itself signing off permanently, either at its own artistic behest or at the mercy of a studio mandate.  Maybe the number of series finales I encountered this year was not disproportionately larger than any other, but it sure felt like it.  Then again, maybe I still haven’t recovered from losing Breaking Bad in 2013 because the wound is still totally fresh, man.

Below is a list of finales I watched this year that I have neither ranked nor arranged in any particular order.  Some series hit the mark and ended on a high note, while others threatened to besmirch (#bringingitback) all that came before it.

One last thing: as of this writing, I still have not watched the final season of Boardwalk Empire, so its omission from this list is not an oversight but a reflection of my overcrowded viewing schedule. Oh, and spoilers below because duh.

 

How I Met Your Mother

This episode is contentious as all get-out, and if you were amongst those overwhelmed with such rage that you briefly flirted with the fantasy of cramming that blue French horn up Ted Mosby’s pooper, then nothing I’ll write here will dissuade you.  Still, hear me out.

how i met

I, for one, had no real issue with Ted and Robin ending up together.  There, I said it, and you know what?  It feels good to unburden myself.  Those who decried this (admit it) inevitable coupling as evidence that Ted never loved the Mother is complete malarky (#bringingitback).  I mean, isn’t it possible to love more than one person over the course of your lifetime?  I also didn’t mind–aside from the criminal shortchanging of Cristin Milioti–that the Mother died.  At least it gave the overall story, as implausible as it became, some context.

Having said all that, I did take issue with how we arrived at those places.  If Barney and Robin were doomed from the start, as we all assumed they would be, then why on earth torment us by staging the entire final season around this event?  It felt like a waste of time for the characters but, more important, for us.  What bugs me about this kind of recursive storytelling is that How I Met You Mother so desperately wanted Ted and Robin to end up together that they manipulated their story to arrive there, rather than letting the story dictate the ending.

We felt cheated, we felt manipulated, we felt betrayed, but that has less to do with Ted and Robin and more with how they got together; actually, I have a sneaking suspicion that a more nuanced touch would have made this whole thing a helluva lot easier to swallow.

Grade: C  

 

True Blood

So, wait.  Sookie euthanizes Bill before the Hep V can claim him, and then winds up with some unknown dude that isn’t Alcide, Eric, or Sam?  Setting aside the finale’s conflicted–not to mention irresponsible–handling of Bill’s suicidal ideations in its closing hour, I can’t think of an ender that left me more unsatisfied this year.

true

From the unrelenting insistence that Hoyt and Jessica were destined to be together to Lafayette’s wordless cameo-sized appearance, everything in this last episode seemed to distill showrunner Brian Buckner’s complete failure to understand these characters.

For a show about banging and blood-sucking, the grim tone of the final hour did little to energize the proceedings, and then the saccharine-sweet coda on Sookie’s front lawn felt like an injection of insulin to the eyeballs, and not in a good way.  Really, this odd juxtaposition just proved that Buckner’s vision had no focus and, worse, no real purpose.  Irredeemable tripe.

Grade: F

 

Hello, Ladies

In opting to focus on Stuart’s acceptance of his feelings for Jessica, this feature-length finale wisely recognized that the most satisfying conclusions prioritize emotional payoff over plotting, and we received that in abundance here.

Stuart abandons his aspirations of living a playboy lifestyle when he realizes it’s time to grow up; Wade has a romantic future with a great new lady; Jessica questions the reality of her dreams.  All of this worked so well as the episode capitalized on the expanded running time to explore the inner lives of these characters.  In doing this, the comedy popped brilliantly, from Stuart’s awkward meet-and-greet with Nicole Kidman to his first time sleeping with Jessica.

ladies

I laughed; I cringed; I beamed; I even clapped when the credits rolled.  This is Hello, Ladies after all, and Stephen Merchant wisely understood that, for all his pomposity and arrogance, Stuart is a character we rooted for.  And, in giving our protagonist the ending he–and we–needed, Merchant validated and rewarded our emotional investment.

Hyperbole warning: my favorite series finale of the year.

Grade: A

 

Sons of Anarchy

Kurt Sutter gave us the only ending that would have made any sense in Jax’s death.  But, dammit, did this thing have to feel all so…silly?  As if the swooping crows (GET IT?) weren’t obvious enough, Jax actually let go of his motorcycle and spread his arms as if to hug the oncoming tractor trailer–driven, of course, by the same trucker Gemma (#vicmackeytruck) befriended earlier because it’s ALL CONNECTED, MAN!  And then, to top it off, the shot of the wine-soaked bread lying on the ground as it sops up Jax’s pooling blood actually made me chuckle aloud.

sons

Because here’s the problem: Jax’s decision to kill himself is in no way a heroic act, but the episode went out of its way to suggest just that. No, Jax is a coward, not a martyr.  And it is because Sutter was hell-bent on leaving us with an image of heroism for a character that didn’t deserve it that this came off as bloated and silly.  So, right destination but the wrong route to get there.

Hey, at least Nero made it out alive.

Grade: B-

 

Californication

You and I both know that Californication ran its course two or three seasons ago, so I find it somewhat miraculous that I walked away from this finale moderately pleased.

The last episode couldn’t evade the central will-they-won’t-they tension between Hank and Karen, even if the fact that they would end up together–again–at least in a temporary sense felt like a foregone conclusion.  I mean, sure, the final scene of Hank reading the letter to Karen on the plane essentially functions as a retread of the season one finale, except this time they’re flying off into the sunset instead of driving, but Duchovny, as always, played the scene so perfectly, we can almost forgive the rehash.

cali

Other stuff happened throughout the episode, but who cares, really?  This was Hank’s show, and Hank’s audience was and always will be Karen.  In the end, the episode didn’t botch the landing, but it didn’t wow me either, so I’d classify this is staunchly average, which given the show’s steady decline in quality over the past several years, is far more than I expected.

Grade: C+

 

Wilfred

After four seasons of psychologically warped comedy, Wilfred answered the only question that mattered: What is Wilfred?  Sure, we all pretty much expected him to be a product of Ryan’s imagination at this point, but somehow that didn’t lessen the satisfaction felt upon discovering  that was the case.  Although this show thrived in the bizarre, it never really begged for a twist ending, so in the end, Wilfred‘s central friendship between man and imaginary dog evolved into a sort of brilliant character study and exploration of Ryan’s psyche.

wilfred

This show never stood a chance with attracting a wide audience, but for those of us smitten by the strange tale, we found ourselves more than rewarded by its conclusion.  We have hope for Ryan and, by extension, hope that we can one day grow into ourselves as comfortably and unapologetically as he has by the time the credits roll.  Who could’ve possibly expected that from a show about a guy in a dog costume that humps a giant stuffed bear?  Not me, that’s for sure, but I sure am glad I was along for the ride. #innuendo

Grade: A-

 

Raising Hope

Not much to say here, except that, always a sucker for this show, I found myself delighted by the finale’s closing image of the Chance family gathered around the kitchen table as hilariously dysfunctional as ever.  Fortunately for us, the episode–which the showrunners thankfully shot as an expected series finale given the ratings decline and FOX’s episode burn-off–left nothing of note dangling.  And yes, I imagine Burt bursting out laughing at that last sentence.

hope

The Chances are going to be all right, and, for this huge fan at least, that’s enough.

Grade: B+

 

Newsroom

After a brilliant pilot, Newsroom‘s wildly inconsistent run ranged from entertaining at best to damn near unwatchable at worst.  Needless to say, I entered into this truncated final season with more than just a dollop of trepidation for what Sorkin had in store for us.  Color me surprised to discover a reinvigorated show that pulsated with urgent narrative life.  Sure, it wasn’t perfect by any stretch, but things seemed headed in the right direction, so that when Charlie died in the penultimate episode, that impacted me more than I expected. I was pleased that Newsroom opted to slow the tempo in its final introspective hour as it revealed Charlie as the grand puppeteer behind News Night.

news

Lambast Sorkin for his paper-thin characterizations all you want, but Jeff Daniels, Emily Mortimer, and Sam Waterston almost made Sorkin’s didactic speechifying work over the years based on the sheer relentlessness of their performances, and Sorkin wisely put these three front and center.  I suppose detailing Charlie’s plan to get the gang together seemed like a fitting enough send off, though I took exception to the inadvertent side effect of this story: Charlie Skinner comes across less like a journalistic visionary and more like a rapscallion of a matchmaker.  This kind of reductive characterization just isn’t fair.  Your bad, Sorkin!

Still, Will’s going to be a papa, Mac’s going to be the new Charlie after Leona works a PR angle with the douchy new CEO, and Neil’s going to get the website back on track now that he’s returned from his sabbatical/evasion of federal authorities.  On the relationship side of things, Jim and Maggie are going to give long distance a try, and Sloane reveals she has had feeling for Don all along, so theirs is a destiny writ in the stars or some such.  Aww.  #toocute

In the end, this finale worked better than it had any right to.  But the episode’s centerpiece scene, Will jamming out with Charlie’s grandsons and Jim to “That’s How I Got to Memphis,” encapsulated the experience of watching Newsroom for me: cool as it could be, it was never the unequivocal triumph that Sorkin so desperately tried to convince us it was.

Grade: B

 

The Bridge

The time between seasons served FX’s The Bridge quite well.  After a freshman year of weirdness for weirdness’s sake and a serial killer plot that devolved into eye-rolling cliche, it finally delivered on its narrative promise as introduced in the pilot when, in season two, American-Mexican relations–and the ramifications of maintaining them–took center stage.  Unfortunately, despite the uptick in quality, the viewership hit an all-time nadir, and FX had no choice but to take the plunge and cancel it. #punintended

bridge

Still, Marco Ruiz held onto his morality when he opted to turn his childhood friend/cartel leader Fausto into the authorities rather than killing him, so this provided enough closure for me.  Sure, this ending felt more like the conclusion to one chapter in a much larger saga that The Bridge might have one day hoped to tell, but I’ll take what I can get.

And hey, at least Annabeth Gish’s Charlotte didn’t make it out alive.  Seriously, she was #theworst.

Grade: B

 

 

Well, that’s it, folks.  Everything comes to an end, even obligatory television lists, so enjoy ’em while you got ’em.  #thefactsoflife  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an entire season of Boardwalk Empire to marathon…

Life Lessons We Learned From The Golden Globes Nominations

Was it just me or did you also hear the sound of a distant blood-curdling scream this morning at about 8:30?  Because if you did, don’t be alarmed; it was just the collective howl of snubbed actors and actresses not hearing their names called during the announcement of the 2015 Golden Globes nominations.  As we know all too well, it wouldn’t be an awards show without our requisite griping about snubs–and there’s plenty to bemoan–but the Hollywood Foreign Press Association had a few tricks up its sleeves this year, particularly on the television side of things*.  Big shows found themselves shut out entirely, while a crop of newbies snuck their way into Hollywood’s drunkest awards night!  Good for you newbies!

*Full disclosure: currently, I’m woefully behind on the film nominees, so I’m not going to speak to those at this time, save for this little truth bomb: the overall slighting of Whiplash (save for JK Simmons’s Best Supporting Actor nod) is absurd.

Life lessons can come from the darnedest places, and wouldn’t you know that I found five of them just perusing through the nominees?  Well, enough of this prefatory nonsense!  Let’s get to the good stuff.

 

Life Lesson #1: You Will Be Punished For Success

Brooklyn Nine-Nine.  Andy Samberg.  Amy Poehler.  These three defending Golden Globes champs didn’t even earn a token nomination this year, and Amy Poehler is co-hosting this damn event.  Fear not, though! Jon Voight–whose skin-crawling performance in Ray Donovan already deprived Josh Charles of his deserved trophy for his turn in The Good Wife last year–heard his name called again this time around because, basically, life is meaningless and empty.  #putitonachristmascard

99

Still, the HFPA didn’t hold back here and, in direct opposition with the spirit of the season, instead wants to tell us that, sure, being good might tickle Santa’s Christmas pickle, but pride also cometh before the fall.  Once you’ve reached the top, there’s only one place to go, so  instead, let’s strive for mediocrity.  Hey, it’s been working out swell for House of Cards so far!  Insert Miles Teller Whiplash** style rimshot here.

**No, I most certainly will not let it go.  I’m sorry I’m not sorry.

 

Life Lesson #2: Your Friends Will Turn On You Viciously and All At Once When You Least Expect It

Look, I’ve come down with a chronic case of Modern Family fatigue just like the rest of you.  I still love the show, but does it need the ubiquitous–not to mention uninterrupted–onslaught of trophies it’s been raking in for five years?  Definitely not, but damn this thing escalated quickly!  After a plethora of SAG nods yesterday, the HFPA straight up bulldozed Modern Family and shut the show out entirely like a bully locking some dweeb in the janitor’s closet.    That’ll give Manny something to think about on his evening constitutional, that’s for sure.

modern

The same shutout happened to The Big Bang Theory, for what it’s worth, but if the critical love for that lowest-common-denominator show has reached its expiration date, then I won’t complain.

Either way, the message is clear, ladies and gentlemen: don’t have any confidence in those who claim to support you as your friends because, sooner rather than later, they will drop you like sack of sprouted potatoes and run to the newest, hottest thing around.  Friendship is dead.  Thanks, Golden Globes!

 

Life Lesson #3: The Squeaky Wheel Gets Sh*t Done

Girls has never capitalized on its promise since its successful inaugural season.  Sure, the third made a significant improvement over the virtually-unwatchable second, but that doesn’t mean it’s anywhere near the quality of fellow nominees Orange Is the New BlackSilicon Valley, or Transparent.  Hell, from what I’m reading about newcomer Jane the Virgin*** it can’t hold a candle to that show, either, though I’ve never seen it.  That’s to say nothing of the fact that it is touted as superior in quality to Louie, Veep, Parks and Rec, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which of course it isn’t.

girls

***See what I did there? #innuendo

But then in nominating the series and Lena Dunham (but not the show’s biggest talent, Adam Driver), it’s clear that Dunham’s polarizing presence, and not the show itself, snagged the nods.  She’s everywhere, she’s controversial, and everyone knows her name.  Neither Dunham nor the show are remotely deserving, but the HFPA has taught us something important: recognition evades the timid.  Be loud and be proud; even if you’re not deserving of accolades, they will shower you just because everyone in the room can hear you.

 

Life Lesson #4: Don’t Try To Be Someone You’re Not

We know it and the HFPA knows it: if the Oscars are your stuffy, pretentious uncle, then the Globes translate to your wild, hard-partying cousin.  In fact, the one reason I enjoy the Globes so much is because of its comparative looseness: it nominates the newbies, it celebrates the less conventional, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

But then it goes and nominates undeserving shows like Downton‘s lackluster fourth season or House of Cards‘s deadeningly repetitive second because they seem like more “prestigious” fare?  Puh-lease.  House of Cards isn’t even one of Netflix’s five best shows, let alone in the upper echelon of all of TV.  If you’re going to celebrate a major drama, how about The Americans?  Hello?  Anybody?  Where’d you guys go?

cards

Stick with your guns, Globes, and honor shows like the surprisingly excellent The Affair!  Is it one of the best shows on television?  No, but who cares?  That’s what you do!  You do weird stuff because you want to flout convention!  That’s why we love you.  Don’t turn this into the Emmys.  DON’T. YOU. DARE. #emptythreat #notanemptythreat

We roll our eyes at the inclusion of these nominees because it’s so out of character for our drunken cousin to rely on business as usual; the Globes are here to shake things up, so learn from the mistake: don’t try to be someone you’re not.  If you’re a Golden Globe, then don’t try to convince anyone you’re an Emmy, and vice versa.  It’s just sad.

 

Life Lesson #5: Don’t Be Afraid To Tell It Like It Is

“No, you sit down and hesh up, True Detective!”  the HFPA shouted over the din.  “You are a mini-series, and that’s that!  Yeah, deal with it!  What was that, McConaughey?  I’ll tell you where to stick that flat circle!”  This is how I’d like to imagine this is all went down as the Globes set people straight following the bizarre Emmy nominee assignations earlier this year.  Now, if only they could do something about those catch-all Supporting Actor/Actress in a Series, Mini-Series, TV Movie, Home Video, Vine Compilation categories.

rust

Don’t let the bullies of the world knock you around is the lesson here!    When you’re right, speak your mind!  Fight the power!

 

Well, that’s what I learned.  Did I miss any crucial life lessons?  Let me know, and remember to tune in to the Golden Globes on Sunday, January 11th at 8pm on NBC!

My 5 Favorite Offbeat Christmas Episodes

Ho, ho, ho!  After a two-month long hibernation, I am here to bestow upon you an early Christmas present.  I don’t want to make a big deal out of my glorious return or anything, but I’m pretty much the television blogger’s Santa Claus, except I won’t break into your house in the dead of night to reward you with presents for being good all year…Wait a minute, you guys, is Santa Claus a sociopath?

Either way, ’tis the season, ladies and gentlemen, and you know what that means: walking past Salvation Army Santas while you pretend to take a call on your cell phone.  But you know what else it means? Christmas themed episodes!  As our favorite shows sign off temporarily for a several week winter hiatus, they like to leave behind a little something to keep us warm and cozy all through the night.  I’ve listed five of my all-time favorite Christmas-themed episodes in alphabetical order below, installments that never cease to get me in the spirit.  Very few–if any–of these would end up other critics’ similarly compiled lists, but for those of us looking for a less conventional yuletide diversion, look no further.

 

Arrested Development, “Afternoon Delight”

Yes, the episode’s title is a direct reference to the Starland song, and yes, Michael Bluth and Maeby sing it during an office Christmas party karaoke session.   But uncle and niece accidentally crooning the classic sex ballad to one another is just the tip of the festive iceberg.

TCDARDE FE088

Because, after all, what’s better than one Christmas party?  Two Christmas parties, duh.  And that one’s a doozy: Lucille–having accidentally imbibed Oscar’s “Afternoon Deelite”–mows down her son-in-law Tobias (who earlier “blue” himself in the hopes of getting a call from the Blue Man Group) and Buster drops a banana-suit wearing G.O.B. from a crane.  I love how this episode uses the Christmas holiday to reveal the not-so-wholesome side to the Bluth clan, resulting in a hilarious twenty-three minutes.

 

Homicide: Life on the Street, “All Through the House”

In typical Homicide fashion, this third season episode manages to walk a tonal tightrope: this time, one that is equal parts melancholy and hope as the detectives find themselves on night duty on Christmas Eve.  Munch and Bolander investigate the murder of a man in a Santa suit, leading Munch to spend the evening with the little boy they presume is the victim’s son.  Felton buys his children Christmas presents despite not knowing where his ex-wife has absconded to with them, and Bayliss, ever the romantic, wanders through the squad room looking for someone to play hearts with him. #metaphor

homicide

But it’s the episode’s insistence on humor and pathos in the face of such grimness that makes this such a great installment.  The detectives take turns criticizing the decoration of the tree in the precinct before launching into an impromptu snowball fight as Christmas day breaks across Baltimore, and Pembleton manages to summarize the meaning of the holiday in his typically curmudgeonly style, none too happy to be on duty: “I miss my wife.  I miss my fireplace.  I miss Nat King Cole.”  It’s brilliant; it’s sad; it’s funny; it’s Homicide refusing to cave to conventions while still remaining true to the spirit of the season.

 

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, “A Very Sunny Christmas”

Mac and Charlie delve into the origins of their holiday traditions to discover that most of them are entrenched in illegal and/or duplicitous activity.  Don’t let the chipper time of year fool you; this episode is still Sunny at its misanthropic best as the gang tries to dole out heaping spoonfuls of Christmas cheer as only they can, including but not limited to drunken caroling and chucking rocks at passing trains.

sunny

Oh, and you’ll see one of the funniest sight gags the show’s ever done as Frank’s humiliation reaches new lows:  in a room full of people celebrating the holiday, he crawls naked from the couch he’s been hiding in to eavesdrop.  This might make me the worst person ever, but this Sunny is a must-watch staple to warm me every December.

 

The League of Gentlemen, “Christmas Special”

League of Gentlemen certainly qualifies as the most esoteric show on this list, so unless you’ve seen the show and are familiar with its zany characters, it will mean very little to you if I were to expound on how the League uses the expanded running time to delve more deeply into fan favorite characters like the world’s most unfortunate vet Dr. Chinnery, the alcohol-swilling Reverend Bernice, and the awkward innuendo machine that is Herr Lipp.  Still, you can appreciate how the show’s portmanteau approach feels like the most warped riff on a Dickensian Christmas story that you’ll ever see, hear, or readfrom the detail-rich sets to the smallest prop.

League

As with all work from the League (which includes Mycroft Holmes and Sherlock co-creator Mark Gatiss himself), the mix of comedy and horror may not be for all tastes, but if you’re up for a bizarre breed of British humor with a generous sprinkle of Dickens thrown in, check it out.  Also featuring the most hilariously terrifying vision of a hooded figure streaking across the sky shouting, “Merry Christmas.”  And to all a goodnight!

 

The Office (UK), “Christmas Special”

Of all the episodes on this list, this one will leave you with the warm-and-fuzzies like no other.  Also serving as the finale of this brilliant series from Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, this episode touches us so deeply because of the emotional payoff that results.  We’ve been following cringeworthy David Brent for two series’ worth of awkward moments, so he–and the audience–has earned the right to redeem himself after the documentary has made him out to seem like a real jerk.  Gervais slays it in his performance, and we’re rooting for Brent even as we’re snickering at him for producing that music video of his Simply Red cover, “If You Don’t Know Me By Now.”  One word: doves.

office

But the sweetest and best–not to mention most inevitable–result goes down like a comforting mug of cocoa. Tim’s gift of an art set to Dawn, fresh off her boyfriend crushing her dreams of illustrating, provides the perfect Christmas message: never give up.  The result of this realization is one of the iconic moments of modern television and will leave you smiling from ear to ear and your heart swelling with joy.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go re-watch this episode for the dozenth time.

 

Did any of your favorites not end up on my nice list?  Sound off in the comments!

Twin Peaks Renewed for a Third Season!

Where I’m from, the birds sing a pretty song, and there’s always music in the air, but even still, consider this the most euphonious sound of all: Showtime has announced that the seminal show, often imitated but never duplicated, will air sometime in early 2016,  twenty-five years after ABC cancelled it in 1991.  I’d say I’m surprised, but then again, I think David Lynch, the maestro of the surreal himself, has planned this from the outset.  Don’t believe me?  Well, then I guess you don’t remember the season two (no longer series–holy cow) finale:

Twin peaks

 

Yup, that’s Laura Palmer in the Black Lodge talking to Cooper in the series finale.  Just saying.  Oh my God, you guys….Is David Lynch a wizard?

Just a few days ago, on October 3rd, Twin Peaks creators Mark Frost and  Lynch took to Twitter with a cryptic tweet that sent rabid fans such as myself into a veritable frenzy.  Simultaneously, the two tweeted: “Dear Twitter friends: That gum you like is going to come back in style! #damngoodcoffee.”  Little did we know that this message would translate, like a fish in a percolator, into such a delightful surprise as a nine-episode limited series order.  The scripts, all penned by Frost and Lynch, will continue the story and take place in the present day and feature a collection of characters new and familiar.  No definitive casting announcements have been made, but Kyle MacLachlan has hinted at his own return on Twitter today following the report of the Twin Peaks revival: “Better fire up that percolator and find my black suit. 🙂 #Twinpeaks” I don’t know about you, but that sure sounds like a confirmation to me, but expect definitive news of his involvement to be forthcoming.  #howsannie

Suffice it to say that this news changes the game for TV.  In a recent interview, Lynch postulated that television has surpassed cinema and become the new art house, citing shows like True Detective as evidence of the medium’s artistic prominence.  Upon its initial airing, Twin Peaks was like nothing else on television, ahead of its time in innumerable ways; since, however, its impact has resonated profoundly and helped to establish a platform wherein anything goes.  And with those possibilities at Lynch’s disposal, there’s no telling where he’ll take us, though it will no doubt be a place both wonderful and strange.  I absolutely cannot wait!  That ethereal score!  Those quirky characters!  That dream-logic mythology!  Donuts!

Twin Peaks 2

 

Oh…I forgot to tell you something.  Leading up to the premiere, Showtime plans to air the original thirty episodes of the series to prepare fans for what’s in store.  Now grab your oven mitts, pick up a bucket full of rocks, and let the speculation begin!  2016 can’t get here soon enough!

5 Performances That Prove Colin Farrell Can Handle “True Detective”

If you haven’t heard by now, then you need to extricate yourself from whatever human-sized boulder you’re living beneath and also reconsider your life’s priorities because there’s been big casting news on True Detective: Colin Farrell, the subject of an ever a-churning rumor mill for months now, has confirmed his participation in the second season of the instantly-excellent crime series.

Now before you go all “The dude from Alexander is doing whaaaaaat?” let’s just pause and reflect.  The fact of the matter is this: while Matthew McConnaughey solidified his McConnaissance with his career-defining turn as Rust Cohle, I’m not sure anyone out there could have predicted the heights he would achieve over the course of that transcendent first season.  Simply put, he blew us all away, but there were glimmers of his potential peppered throughout his career–including a personal favorite performance in the Bill Paxton directed horror thrilled Frailty–that the myriad rom coms obfuscated.  I’m going to wager a bet that, if we parse through Farrell’s career closely enough, we’ll find five performances that should reassure us that maybe, just maybe, the dude can pull it off.  Also, let’s be honest, guy knows his way around a stiff drink, so he seems like an ideal successor to Rust’s beer can origami expert. Just sayin’.

Shall we?

 

Fright Night (2011)

In this way-better-than-it-had-any-right-to-be horror remake, Farrell plays vampire neighbor Jerry in what might be the most gleeful performance of his career.  Watching Jerry’s mask of complacent suburbanite charm slip to reveal the cold-blooded killer beneath emerged as one of the film’s highlights.  If Farrell throws himself into his True Detective role with this kind of abandon, I’m sure he’ll be able to–ahem–sink his teeth into it. #vampirepuns #vampiresrpeople2

 

Tigerland (2000)

This overlooked little flick is anchored by a commanding performance from Farrell as he takes his character, Pvt. Roland Bozz, from charismatic leader to cynical soldier contemplating going AWOL.  What makes this film work (other than the fact that director Joel Schumacher actually got out of his own way long enough to shoot an actual movie) is how Farrell handles the character’s contradictions and darker inclinations, both of which should serve his new TD character quite well.

 

In Bruges (2008)

In this inky black comedy from writer-director Martin McDonagh, Farrell plays hitman Ray, stuck in the much-detested locale of Bruges, Belgium, as he awaits orders from his boss.  Farrell handles the quippy, snarky dialogue with aplomb but also more than carries his own during the film’s shifts into shockingly brutal violence and action.  He intuits the beats of his character perfectly here, imbuing this flawed character with an almost unfathomable likability and charisma.  Sound familiar?

 

Crazy Heart (2009)

Farrell can even rein it in a little, as evidenced by his subtle turn as Tommy Sweet in the Jeff Bridges-lead Crazy Heart.  An acolyte of Bridges’ Bad Blake (#accidentalalliteration), Farrell’s Tommy emerges  as a character who functions more to deepen our understanding of the protagonist than anything else, and in an ensemble like True Detective, it’s good to know that Farrell can retreat into the background when the occasion demands it and give his co-stars a chance to shine.  Plus, if his new role calls for it, Farrell has proven he can sport a ponytail if need be because country music stereotypes, duh.

 

Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

I’m an unapologetic fan of this movie, and I remember leaving the theatre with the surprising revelation that Farrell crushed it as Travers Goff, P.L. Travers’s disappointing (not to mention alcoholic) father.  Thanks to his performance, it became easy to see how a man could be both so misguided and so damn lovable at the same time, a man who somehow manages to wrangle trust from those he’s let down time and time again.  A character struggling against an onslaught of personal demons?  Check!

 

Well, there you have it, my defense of Colin Farrell–words, come to think of it, I never thought I’d say, let alone commit to print for posterity.  Let’s put it this way; I’m cautiously optimistic, but one thing’s for sure: if we give him the chance, Farrell might surprise us.  He certainly has the potential.

Also, time is a flat circle.  OK, bye!

Emmy Reaction, or Um…What?

The Emmys, am I right?  Seriously, when you’re an hour and a half into an Emmy telecast and you’re thinking, “Bachelor In Paradise might have been a better choice,” then I think it’s time either to reconsider our masochistic interest in this awards ceremony or to give Bachelor in Paradise its due credit.

For now, let’s go with the first option.

I mean, I haven’t dabbled excessively in animal husbandry, but I can’t help but shake the fact that watching a four hour documentary on the herding patterns of yaks would’ve proven more exciting than this year’s recipients.  Repeat winners ruled this particular Seth Meyers-led roost, furthering the perception of the Emmys as little more than a popularity contest, which–of course–it is.

But look, before you get all bent out of shape and start creeping under my house’s crawlspace, I can confess that Breaking Bad‘s several wins were not only deserved but also requisite accolades for a brilliant conclusion to the best show ever to appear on television.  Still, its victories added to the overall sense of humdrum boredom and expectation.  In addition to the been-there-done-that feel, several weird choices–and I’m not just talking about awarding Kathy Bates for her kitschy, over-the-top performance in American Horror Story: Coven over the all-but-a-lock Allison Tolman of Fargo–created a rushed, slipshod ceremony.  For instance, why were there lengthy clips for the nominees in the Best Supporting Actor in a Drama category but just live audience reaction shots for Best Actor?  Why were some presenters given free rein to riff before announcing the winners and others just read off the teleprompter?  The Emmys felt surprising in all the wrong ways.  I was scared, I was confused, and Tatiana Maslany wasn’t there to hold me.  I didn’t like it.

And yet, somehow, the occasional bright spot punched through the murkiness of the proceedings, so below I’ll highlight those (spoiler: it’s a short list) before limiting myself to my major complaints and snubs.

 

I’ll Allow It

1) The Bits

Seth Meyers didn’t set the world on fire or anything as this year’s host, but several very funny interstitial segments did delight.  My favorite has to be Billy Eichner (aka Craig from Parks and Rec) and Seth Meyers on the streets of New York interviewing unwitting pedestrians about the Emmys in this special installment of Billy on the Street. I laughed so hard when Billy scampered away after decrying a Mindy Kaling snub in light of her waking up at the crack of dawn to announce the nominees: “You know who slept soundly?  Perennial Emmy nominee JULIE BOWEN!”  And how about Billy’s reaction to the guy who confused Seth Meyers for Seth MacFarlane?  Great stuff.  My second favorite bit involved Seth opening the floor up as a Q&A, leading Jon Hamm to claim Maggie Smith’s Emmy–if she won– before Julianna Margulies could, Andre Braugher looking for the bathroom key (hint: Josh Charles had it!), and Fred Armisen whipping the crowd into a frenzy in hopes that the Emmys could televise “every year.”  All participants were game here, and it worked.  Loved it.  Finally, the Bryan Cranston/Julia Louis-Dreyfus moments, culminating in him ambushing her in an aggressive lip lock, helped us fall in love with these two even more.

2) Weird Al

Sure, the songs weren’t particularly great (though spurring George R.R. Martin to “write faster” over the Game of Thrones theme amused me), but WEIRD AL PERFORMED AT THE FRICKING EMMYS!  #win.

3) Jimmy Kimmel

Before doling at some award or other, Jimmy Kimmel absolutely killed it in his comedic lambast of Matthew McConaughey, urging him to pack up his patchouli oil and hit the road among other choice one-liners.  Well done, sir.

4) A few winners

Julianna for The Good Wife (and then tossing out a reminder that her show still produces 22 episodes a season).  Louis C.K. for writing “And So Did the Fat Lady.”  Surprise wins for Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman on Sherlock.  Fargo claiming Best Miniseries.  Breaking Bad doing its thing (though I have–please forgive me–a quibble about Aaron Paul’s victory, which you’ll see in a second).  Other than that, not much.

5) The Simplistic and Understated Robin Williams tribute

Billy Crystal nailed it, keeping it short and sweet as he painted a beautifully personal portrait of his deceased friend with a few choice anecdotes.  And if the clips that played after Crystal spoke didn’t leave you with a lump in your throat, then I don’t even know what to tell you.

 

UGH…

1) Continued Modern Family domination

Ty Burrell won AGAIN.  The show won Best Comedy Series AGAIN–for the fifth time in a row.  Gail Mancuso won for Directing AGAIN–for the second time in a row (though her submission episode, “Las Vegas,” was hilarious and so well-deserved). Look, I still enjoy this show a lot, but let’s move on.  Please.

2) Kathy Bates trumps Allison Tolman

I don’t even want to talk about this, except to say it’s another instance of name recognition trumping fresh-faced, genuine talent, though–to her credit–Kathy Bates looked genuinely flummoxed when she heard her name called.

3) Repeat winners dominate

Julia Louis-Dreyfus won her third consecutive Emmy and Bryan Cranston his fourth total last night, but they’re brilliant, so I’ll posit them as the exceptions.  Still, they’re a part of a catalogue of performers who claimed victory already: Jessica Lange (snooze), Jim Parsons (eye roll), and Ty Burrell (scoff) to name but a few.  I’ll say it again: let’s move on.

4) Last night should’ve put #CharlesInCharge

I love Aaron Paul.  He’s exceptionally talented, and he consistently elevated Jesse Pinkman into a fully formed, robust character about whom we cared and for whom we cheered.  Still, that trophy belonged to Josh Charles for his swan song episodes of The Good Wife.  Charles had more to work with this year than Paul did–sorry, but it’s true.  I don’t begrudge Paul his victory (as I said, love the guy), but it would have been nicer to see Charles add that first trophy to his shelf instead of Paul adding his third.

5) Accountants?

Sorry, but this was weird.  Key and Peele tried to make us care with their funny self-deprecating bit and–a credit to their profuse talents–almost succeeded, until I remembered they were introducing accountants.  Um, what?

6) Andre Braugher’s loss

For his performance as police captain Holt, Braugher proved the power of the “straight” man comedic trope; by underplaying his character amidst a squad full of loonies, Braugher emerged as the funniest member of the hilarious Brooklyn Nine-Nine cast.  Ty Burrell, funny as he is, plays a dimwitted dad–that’s the work of a two time Emmy winner?

7) Game of Thrones shut out

I’m not sure where it could have squeezed in, but it’s a shame that this show continues to gobble up the nominations but does not convert them into victories.  Now that Breaking Bad‘s era has concluded, maybe the time for GoT is finally upon us!

 

I’ll stop myself there.  I could keep going, but you get the point: it got weird last night.  But you know what’s weirdest of all?  I can’t help, every year, but hope for something to change with the Emmys, even though it rarely does.  And if that’s not a test for insanity, then I’m not sure what is, and color me mad.  #tvcrazy

Until next year, you Emmy masochists you!

The Legacy of Robin Williams

In light of the horribly shocking news of beloved comedian Robin Williams taking his own life at the age of 63, many fans have been offering up their favorite performances of his over the years.  For millennials such as myself, Williams was a staple during my childhood and adolescent years:  Aladdin, Hook, Flubber, Jumanji, Jack, Dead Poet’s Society, Mrs. Doubtfire, Bicentennial Man, and even Patch Adams hold particularly special places in my heart for that very reason.  As I grew older, titles like Death to SmoochyOne Hour Photo, What Dreams May Come, The Final Cut, World’s Greatest Dad, The Fisher King, and Insomnia allowed me a peek into the darker places Williams dared to take his characters, whether dramatically or comedically.  And yet, while all of these–and more–stand out when I think fondly of Robin Williams’s impact, two television performances of his continue to resonate with me, the two pieces of art that I find myself continuing to gravitate back toward.

If you’ll permit, I’d like to share them with you now.

 

Homicide: Life on the Street — S02, E01: “Bop Gun”

Even if you’ve never seen an episode of this all-time great crime series (a progenitor of The Wire amongst many others), it should not stop you from seeking this installment out immediately.  Williams plays Robert Ellison, a tourist on vacation with his wife and two children–one of them played by a very young Jake Gyllenhaal–in Baltimore.  After getting turned around and winding up in one of the more unsavory sections of Charm City, Robert is utterly helpless as he watches his wife murdered in front of him.  For the remainder of the episode, while the police do their best to track down a killer and stave off the pressures from City Hall, more concerned about plummeting tourism than the loss of a wife and mother, we have an opportunity to zero in on the effects of grief on a shattered family.

homicide

A truly unique concept for a crime series (particularly at the time of its original broadcast in 1994), “Bop Gun” became a powerhouse showcase for Robin Williams and earned him a Guest Actor in a Drama Series Emmy nomination that did not–of course!–convert into a win.  As he takes Robert through the myriad stages of grief while trying to balance the newly anointed role of single father, Williams probed depths of despair and sadness that–in light of the current news–must have been pulled from his own struggles.  It’s a haunting performance, one of the best by a guest actor in a series that helped to pioneer brilliant guest performances, but more than that, it serves as a testament to Williams’s profuse talents.  We may know him primarily as a deft whirligig of a comedian (more on that in a second), but his spellbinding performance in “Bop Gun” showed layers of such nuance that it became clear that we still hadn’t seen all that Robin Williams had to offer.  Somehow, he still had tricks hidden up those sleeves.

Robin Williams: Live on Broadway

The first time I watched this mind-blowingly brilliant HBO stand-up special, I don’t remember ever having laughed for such an uninterrupted period of time.  In truth, I haven’t since.  Williams’s madcap ribaldry came at such a frantic and relentless pace, my friend and I had to pause to catch our breath from laughing.  If we hadn’t, our wheezing paroxysms of laughter would have drowned out a zippy one-liner or an off-the-cuff self-deprecating rejoinder.   The man was on fire, a routine that seemed so effortless and spontaneous that it could only be the work of a diligent, well-rehearsed professional.

My senior year of high school was a difficult time, but Live on Broadway genuinely shone a light into the dark period of my life.  Unabated, unapologetic laughter poured out of me as if to purge the negativity and sadness I’d been living with: a comedic exorcism.  As tears streamed down my face and Williams went off on Olympic sports (“The luge?  What f*****-up German gynecologist came up with this sport?”), religion (“But, for the Last Supper, would they have not gone out for Chinese?”), world issues (“Osama Bin Laden is a six foot  five Arab on dialysis.  What is so ******* hard to find?!?”), and celebrities (“Michael Jackson’s claiming racism?  I’m like, ‘Honey, you need to pick a race first.'”), I felt for the first time the truly healing nature of comedy.  For that, I’m truly grateful.

broadway

Even to this day, I find that snippets of Williams’s routine have insinuated themselves into my day-to-day lexicon, and what does that indicate if not a gift given by a performer at the height of his power?  Nominated for five Emmys but–of course–winning none, Live on Broadway remains the gold standard for me.

Thank you, Robin Williams, for being so generous in sharing your profuse talent.  You helped me through my own depression at a time when I needed it; I only wish someone could have done for you what you so miraculously did for me.  Rest in peace.

Summer Movie Report Card, Vol. 1

It hasn’t been the best summer for movies. There, I said it. Sure, there have been some great ones peppered throughout the season, which now stretches as far back as April and lasts into September, but I can count on one hand the number of films that I felt truly pumped to see. Fortunately, August seems poised to become the new July, with a crop of anticipated flicks scheduled for release in the coming weeks.

Until then, you’ll have to settle for this! #MovieWatcherProblems

 

Captain America: Winter Soldier: A vast improvement over its predecessor, this Captain America–under the watchful eyes of the Russo brothers–brims with slam-bang action sequences and a pervading sense of fun. But what makes this such an integral entry in the Marvel pantheon is the game-changing development (I won’t spoil it here) about S.H.I.E.L.D., an inventive twist that will have serious repercussions moving forward. If nothing else, it’s a development that proves the Marvel franchise is not afraid to shake things up, and it’s a welcome revelation. Sure, the otherwise paper-thin plot hinges on a chase for a MacGuffin and bungles its too-obvious subtext, but Chris Evans makes it mostly work thanks to his charismatic performance. Bring on the third! Grade: B+

Neighbors: I expected the big laughs from a movie starring Seth Rogen and directed by Nicholas Stoller, but Zac Efron and Rose Byrne emerged as huge comedic presences in this film; along with Dave Franco and The Mindy Project‘s Ike Barinholtz, this cast took an otherwise hackneyed premise (which, if we’re being honest, isn’t possessed of a shred of originality) and elevated it to impressive comedic heights in mixing prurient ribaldry and fish-out-of-water awkwardness. Throw in a few nods to our hesitant relinquishment of youth, and you’ve got a comedy that’s way better than it has any right to be. I can’t wait to watch it again. Grade: B+

The Fault In Our Stars: This screen adaptation of John Greene’s uber-popular teen novel of the same name works as well as it does due to the uniformly excellent performances, most notably a star-making turn from Ansel Elgort (he of the Carrie remake) as Augustus Waters. It should not surprise you in the least that Shailene Woodley, of course, nails it as Hazel Grace, but Sam Trammell and Laura Dern prove equally up to the task as Hazel’s beleaguered parents. I’m not a huge fan of disease-driven fiction, but the film–like the novel–manages to breathe life into it thanks to an observant attention to character. Sure, the ending will be of absolutely no surprise to anyone over the age of twelve, and you won’t completely shake the fact that you’ve been emotionally manipulated for two hours, but hey, that’s life. Grab a tissue and enjoy the ride. Grade: B

22 Jump Street: If you liked the first, you’ll like the sequel, which goes out of its way to lampoon the very notion of franchising, particularly in the hilarious sequence that plays over the end credits. Either the comic chemistry between Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill is your thing or it isn’t, simple as that. For me, I found this movie consistently hilarious if inevitably lacking the original’s bite–but a blast nonetheless. Grade: B

Obvious Child: Jenny Slate’s deft performance as twentysomething comedienne Donna Stern anchors this excellent little indie. After Donna’s one night stand with The Office‘ s Jake Lacy culminates in an unwanted pregnancy, she decides to go through with an abortion. That a film with such a premise can plumb the comedic depths it manages serves as a testament to all involved, but its quietly defiant nature turns this into such a galvanizing film. Donna’s decision is the right one for her at this point in her life, but the film also smartly acknowledges the emotional weight of such an act. Paradoxically, when Obvious Child goes out of its way to keep this red-button issue confined to this particular story, its specificity creates a universality that speaks to the topic better than six million politicians could ever manage. Funny, wise, warm, and insightful, this is one of the best films of the year. Grade: A

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: A Shakespearean drama that happens to feature apes rendered in some of the most staggering visual effects you’ve ever seen. Plus, apes on horseback double fisting machine guns because yes. Grade: A-

Life Itself: Any fan of movies–whether ardent or casual–needs to seek out this documentary about the life and contributions of the late and great film critic Roger Ebert. It doesn’t shy away from the rougher edges of Ebert’s at-times prickly demeanor, and it is because this spellbinding documentary refuses to pander to the man’s mythic influence that we grow to love and appreciate him more as the film progresses. You’ll laugh at the behind the scenes bickering between Siskel and Ebert, and you’ll choke up as you watch a voiceless Roger struggle in physical therapy following his latest surgery; in short, you’ll celebrate a life fully lived, and movies and criticism will never be the same again. Two thumbs up. Grade: A

The Purge: Anarchy: In expanding on the scant original’s failure to explore the sociopolitical ramifications of The Purge, this horror sequel improves on its progenitor in virtually every imaginable way. This movie won’t win any awards and isn’t as lean, mean, and scary as last summer’s The Conjuring, but its vision of a not-so-distant future America still disturbs. Grade: B-

Guardians of the Galaxy: The latest Marvel gamble turns out to be the movie event of the summer. I’m not sure what took Hollywood so long to put Chris Pratt front and center in his own vehicle, but the guy nails every facet of Star Lord in a performance sure to pique the interest of blockbuster producers everywhere. Funny, weird, and altogether entertaining as hell, Guardians emerges as (controversy warning) my favorite Marvel outing ever. If you see one movie in theaters this summer, it had better be this one. Or as Groot would say: “I am Groot.” Grade: A

 

Thanks for reading! Part II out by summer’s end!