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Dream Emmy Ballot: Supporting Actor (Comedy)

Let’s keep this gravy train a-rolling, shall we? Last week, I posted my Emmy hopefuls in the category of Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, with my selections ranging from “strong possibility” to “not a snowball’s chance in hell.” What do you say we keep that tradition alive by crossing the gender line hand-in-hand and turning our sights on Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series?

Sound good to you? Perfect. Here they are: the funny men that Emmy voters should nominate if they know what’s good for them! #Emptythreat

Ike Barinholtz, The Mindy Project Andre Braugher, Brooklyn 99

Nick Offerman, Parks & Rec Christopher Evan Welch, Silicon Valley

Jeremy Allen White, Shameless Parker Young, Enlisted

Honorable Mentions: Noel Fisher, Shameless; Tony Hale, Veep; Matt Walsh, Veep; Chris Pratt, Parks and Recreation; Danny Pudi, Community

“Show your work…”

I would be ecstatic if Christopher Evan Welch earns a posthumous nomination for his turn as the hilariously awkward Peter Gregory in HBO’s ingenious Silicon Valley. The only proof you need: his free-style brainstorming about Burger King’s sesame seed rolls evolves into an analysis of cicada patterns and, ultimately, forms the backbone of a multi-million dollar investment. One of my favorite comedy sequences of the year handled with comedic precision by Welch, who seemed poised to break out in a big way with this role. His loss hurts, but a nod (and win?!) would assuage the sting a bit.

Meanwhile, Ike Barinholtz continues to delight as Morgan, the male nurse on Fox’s underappreciated gem The Mindy Project. Amidst an already impressive cast, Barinholtz steals the show with his playful awkwardness. I can just hear his “in character” acceptance speech now: “Dr. L” this and “Dr. C” that. I would be very okay with that.

Speaking of small screen delights, is there a more iconic sitcom character on the air right now than Parks and Recreation‘s Ron Swanson? Seriously, Nick Offerman did great work this year, from his heart-warming pilgrimage to a whiskey distillery in the “London” two-parter to his evolution into an honest-to-goodness family man over the course of the season. Few comedic actors can vacillate between drama and comedy with the aplomb of Offerman; it’s high time Ron F****** Swanson won the props he deserves.

We’ve already discussed how Shameless has no business being in the comedy category; still, it is, and White did impressive work as Lip Gallagher this year. Lip’s attempt to balance his academic and work study duties with his newfound responsibilities as surrogate father (while Fiona flushed her life down the toilet) formed the backbone of one of Shameless‘s strongest seasons to date, and White should take more than just a little credit for that.

Andre Braugher has already won an Emmy for his brilliant (dramatic) turn as Detective Frank Pembleton on the Hall of Fame-great series Homicide: Life on the Streets, but dammit if Braugher doesn’t deserve another win for playing a cop again, though this time in a comedy series on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. His Captain Holt is the perfect straight man, eliminating histrionics altogether–the fact that he could deliver the line, “I’m in agonizing pain right now,” with a straight face and robot’s monotone is, in my estimation, Emmy-worthy. But let’s also note that Braugher has been, very unobtrusively, doing some groundbreaking work with Holt; his character’s homosexuality is neither a defining trait nor a caricature. Holt is a cop who just happens to be gay, and Braugher pulls it off brilliantly.

Last but not least, that leaves Parker Young in Fox’s recently cancelled Enlisted. This is my long shot, but Young is just hysterical in depicting Randy Hill’s charming stupidity and unabashed adoration of his older brothers. Dude’s got killer comic timing and deserves a spot right alongside the aforementioned performers, even if you never watched his show. Take my word for it, okay? The guy has an emotional breakdown at the mere thought of the plight of the Pixar lamp–yeah, the one in the logo. What else can an Emmy hopeful do?

Until next time, my television-obsessed friends! We’ll be moving onto Lead Actress in a Comedy Series!

Dream Emmy Ballot: Supporting Actress (Comedy)

As we gear up for the Emmys, that most frustrating of television awards, I’d like to take the next couple of weeks to present to you my dream ballots in several categories before then defending several of my choices to the death in a trial by combat versus The Mountain.

Our first category up: Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series!

Anna Chlumsky, Veep Emma Kenney, Shameless

Kate Mulgrew, Orange is the New Black Chelsea Peretti, Brooklyn 99

Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie Christine Woods, Hello, Ladies

Honorable Mentions: Beth Grant, The Mindy Project; Stephanie Beatriz, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Aubrey Plaza, Parks and Recreation

“Show your work…”

In a fair and just world, all six of these ladies will hear their names called come time for the Emmy nominations in July. However, I’ll concede that several of them are long shots, mostly notably youngster Emma Kenney, who masterfully handled Debbie Gallagher’s burgeoning young adulthood with aplomb in season four. Now, let me say this: I fundamentally disagree with Shameless being classified as a comedy, but since it is, Kenney’s name appears on my hopeful ballot. While we’re on the subject of long shots, I’d love to see Christine Woods scoop up a nod for her turn as Jessica in HBO’s brilliantly cringeworthy Hello, Ladies; I found myself consistently impressed by how Woods tempered Jessica’s neuroses, never allowing them to reduce her character to cliche but instead using them to highlight what a pitch-perfect mate she would be for Stuart, her unsuccessful philanderer of a roommate. She just strikes the perfect balance between pathos and comedy.

In terms of the remote realm of possibility, my other four choices seem grounded at least tenuously in reality. Merritt Wever’s Zoey Barkow is not just the best character on Showtime’s underappreciated Nurse Jackie but one of my favorite characters on television right now; I know she won last year, and–given the Emmy’s predilection for repeat winners–I wouldn’t at all mind to see her at the podium again this year. Meanwhile, Anna Chlumsky continues to do excellent work on HBO’s Veep; Amy snatching the coveted spot of campaign manager this season was great, and she can spout out the poetically profane dialogue of this series with the best of them. Love her.

That leaves us with Kate Mulgrew, whose character Red manages to stand out so vividly amongst the already vivid and vibrant cast of Netflix’s Orange is the New Black. I suppose it bears repeating that OitNB ain’t really a comedy, but that was its submission category, so here we are. Regardless, Mulgrew’s understanding of this character is simply breathtaking; she knows how to balance her intimidating nature with the softer sides to her (often revealed in those heartbreaking flashbacks). I’m pulling for you big time on this, Red! Finally, that leaves Chelsea Peretti, the one actress on this list that without fail had me in stitches at least two or three times an episode. Her Gina Linetti is an unapologetically unique creation; I mean, her dance in the briefing room? Man, I’m still laughing about that. The fact that Peretti managed to steal scenes left and right from the cast of Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a feat in and of itself, but as the season progressed, so did her character, and Peretti matched the evolution step for step. I’ll do a dance of my own if her name winds up on the final ballot.

Well there it is, my first Dream Emmy ballot! Stay tuned for my next one later in the week: Supporting Actor in Comedy Series!

Top 5 TV Shows of 2014 (so far)

I know, I know. You’re thinking, “This dude sure loves his lists!” Hey, it’s what we critics in the television and film biz–or, as in my case, those of us desperately clawing at the door in the hopes of one day being invited into the party of said biz–do. I mean, yeah, lists are plenty arbitrary as I’ve discussed on here previously, but TV critics the Internet over seem smitten by this idea, so like a good lemming, I’ll jump on board!

Plus, I love lists. Deal with it.

The following are shows that have left an indelible mark on my television psyche already this year. For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to put them in alphabetical order because I’m not really in the mood to stir up a whirlwind of controversy, okay? For the purposes of clarity, let me also say that the shows I included here began their seasons in 2014, so beloved series like The Good Wife, Person of Interest, and Parks and Rec didn’t make this list simply because of my revised criteria….You don’t care about any of that, but I told you anyway.

Here they are!

The Americans, FX

And you think your family is tough to handle? The Jennings household battled unrest on all fronts this season, both personally and professionally. Few shows can replicate the greatness of their inaugural season, but even fewer can find that elusive second gear and launch into a stratosphere of uncompromising excellence. Yet somehow, The Americans–buoyed by incredible performances and sharp writing–managed just that. Two overarching narratives (the clandestine operation to pilfer American stealth technology and the ongoing operation to track down the murderer of fellow operatives) lead us down roads with few easy answers** and, by season’s end, forced Philip and Elizabeth to consider what the future holds not just for themselves but their children. It’s a parable, a cautionary tale, an allegory–oh, and just about the smartest, most cooly confident series on television.

**Seriously, the reveal of who killed Elizabeth and Philips’s friends and fellow operatives? Absolutely chilling.

Fargo, FX

The season isn’t yet over, but this show has already been teaching us a masterclass in how to tell a short form narrative. Seriously, each episode feels like you’re binge-watching an entire season; there’s not a scrap of filler but, miraculously, nor is there a dearth of characterization. In managing that perfect balance between propulsive plot and attention to character, Fargo has managed to create a television event that isn’t a revisiting of the Coen Brothers’ outstanding film so much as an extended jazz cover of it.

Martin Freeman, currently giving Walter White a run for his money, has turned Lester Nygaard into television’s most dramatically transformed character–all in a span of eight episode–as Fargo uses Lester’s dark tale to explore the nature of evil and its seductive allure. Will critics be talking about this one when it comes time for their Best of the Year lists? Ya, you betcha!

Game of Thrones, HBO

Westeros, am I right? If Thrones‘s fourth season has accomplished anything (and, in truth, it’s accomplished a great deal), it’s this: Westeros is a place where zeal, passion, honor, and integrity have no foothold and can, in fact, bring about one’s ruin. Sound familiar? When a work of fantasy has become the most damning allegory of our current times, you know you’re in the presence of great art.

Plus, this continues to be the most shocking series on television. From nuptial poisonings to deflating trials-by-combat, no other show can disarm its audience so completely while still remaining true to its central conceit. Swirling around this narrative tapestry is an enormous menagerie of characters, each so distinctive, so expertly drawn, that the ever-expanding cast manages to deepen this world without confounding its audience. In virtually every facet of its story, Game of Thrones remains simply brilliant.

Also, hurray, Joffrey’s dead! Best TV gift of the season so far!

Louie, FX

Unlike anything else on television, Louie manages to ground its narrative predictability–paradoxically–in its consistent unpredictability. Without missing a beat, this show can oscillate from the insanely hilarious (the garbage man bit in the beginning of the season) to the awkwardly funny (everything in episode two, “Model”) and veer three-sixty to the movingly dramatic (the brilliant speech about what it means to be a single fat woman in New York).

Comedic genius Louis C.K. took a considerable amount of time off between the third and fourth seasons, but when this is the result, then who would dare complain about such a hiatus? Although the excellent opening credits are sorely missed, that’s about the only negative I can attribute to this amazing season, which has grown in scope in terms of its storytelling and aggregation of recurring secondary characters. We’re also seeing Louie revisit and build upon an ever-complicating joke over the span of several episodes (Hurricane Jasmine Forsythe anyone?) much in the vain of Seinfeld. In short, C.K. continues play to his proven strengths while continuing to challenge himself. I’m loving everything about this season thus far, and I’m so, so glad it’s back.

True Detective, HBO

What else can we say that hasn’t been said already? Time is a flat circle, and no matter where you are on that geometric continuum, this is hands down the Best Show of 2014.

Besides, some genius TV blogger already waxed poetic about the glories of this show: http://overstuffeddvr.com/?p=215

Honorable Mentions: Veep, Silicon Valley

Keep up the amazing work, HBO and FX! All other networks can bow down to you now, as your dominance is hereby commemorated and therefore official!

Well, that about wraps it up. I can’t wait to see what the rest of 2014 brings to us on the small screen and not just because it means I can make another list. (But mostly it’s because I can make another list tbh.) Hurray lists! #Listology #ListlessWithoutListsofLists

Greetings from “Fargo”

*Disclaimer: Read the following in your best Fargo-inspired Midwestern drawl. OK? Ya, you betcha!*

Well, hiya there! We sure hope you all are enjoyin’ that warm weather because, well heck, it’s colder ‘n a moose’s buttocks in December here in Bemidji. Storm of the century some are callin’ it. And, heck, it ain’t the only storm that’s been clearin’ its throat ’round these parts of late.

There’s this real strange fellah by the name of Lorne Malvo cuttin’ his bloody swath right through the center ‘a town, don’t cha know? Shootouts in the snowbanks, crickets in the produce aisle, duck-taping co-conspirators to firearms, blackmailing, and the like. Something’s fishy with that one…

…but don’t worry because Molly Solverson and Gus Grimly from Deluth are on the case. Sure, Gus accidentally shot Molly in the chaos of that humdinger of a storm, but she’ll get over it. She’s a tough one, that Molly Solverson, a gal of real grit. Plus, she’s got to keep her eye on Lester Nygaard because of that nasty business with the Chief and Lester’s poor wife, Pearl. When she looked in on Lester in his hospital room, nursing his previously infected hand, didn’t ya just feel her grit? She’s got real grit does that Molly. Ya, you betcha she does.

Now, gosh, my ma told me it’s better to say nothin’ rather than say somethin’ rude, but that Lester Nygaard, he’s a real slippery such-and-such. I mean, heck, he’s not only dodgin’ the police but even seems to be enjoyin‘ it, don’t ya know? Now he’s even tryin’ to cast suspicion on his own brother by plantin’ a firearm in his nephew’s backpack! He’s just Bemidji’s own Walter White now if ya want to know the truth. Ya, I know. Ya. It’s bad.

I hope this is gettin’ you real excited to join us in Fargo, but I can see you might need a little more convincin’ because I can tell you’re not the cold-weather type. Still, this is one of the best shows of the year, you betcha it is, so ya should really drop on by. We’ve got some great locals here, like Stavros Milos the supermarket king (don’t mind his little religious crisis right now as he’s goin’ through a rough patch what with the blackmailing, biblical plagues, his son passin’ and all), interim police chief Bill Oswalt, and diner own Lou Solverson. There’s some real strange things to keep ya on yer toes, too, like fish falling from the sky for one. Sorta strange, wouldn’t ya say? Lucky for us, we got lots of pretty landscape to look at when the goin’ gets tough, and the cameras don’t miss an inch of it. Real cinematic stuff.

Oh geez, would ya look at the time there? That sidewalk ain’t gonna shovel itself. Did I mention they’re calling it the storm of the century? I’m not one for much guess work (I’ll leave that to Molly Solverson and her grit), but somethin’ tells me the storm’s far from over. We here in Bemidji haven’t seen the last of it yet. Not by a long shot.

Fargo airs its final two episodes of the season this and next Tuesday at 10 pm on FX. You betcha it does. Don’t go missin’ it now.

Season Finale Report Card, Part II

Let me catch you up. Last time, we did part one; this time we’re doing part two because counting. Any questions? Good! This second crop of episodes brought their shows’ respect seasons to a close with some expected tropes: engagements, weddings, explosions, interpersonal conflict, the death of modern privacy. You know, typical stuff. But even when these shows leaned heavily on such traditional narrative developments, the best of the bunch still managed to leave us salivating for the fall.

All right, time to dispatch with the generalities and dive right in. Without further adieu, here we go!

Arrow, “Unthinkable”

I’m just going to say it, after the outstanding quality of the two preceding episodes–“City of Blood” and “Streets of Fire”–I went into Arrow‘s second season finale with the kind of enthusiasm reserved only for the most anticipated of television events. Make no mistake about it, “Unthinkable” brought it home in many ways, but can I also admit I felt a tad let down? I know, I know. Shoot me in the face with an exploding arrow because I’m a dumb-dumb. But hear me out!

After upping the ante big time vis-a-vis Moira’s murder at Slade’s hands (sword?) and the general pandemonium in Starling City caused by Blood’s super-soldiers, I wanted even more sh*t to go down. It felt like Arrow was going there, and I wanted the show to tumble even further down the rabbit hole. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Look, it’s probably the right choice to bring closure to the first two seasons with Oliver triumphant and Slade burried deep within an A.R.G.U.S. prison beneath the sand of Lian Yu. But am I the only one who found Oliver’s take-down of Slade far too easy? Not to mention, of course, it took those of us ‘shipping the U.S.S Olicity and ripped our hearts out. What a cruel trick, Oliver, you heart-breaking rapscallion.

Still, I enjoyed the way Arrow went out of its way to set the table for a new chapter both in the present and past narratives. A.R.G.U.S seems poised to take a more prominent role in Starling City’s myriad goings-on, with Amanda Waller at the controls. I dig it. Plus, for the better part of season two’s back-half, the flashbacks on Lian Yu were progressing at a glacial pace, so I loved the reveal of Oliver waking up in Hong Kong and meeting Waller. And at its best, that’s what this finale did so well. It closed the two-season chapter on the show we’ve grown to love: the rise of The Arrow. Now onto bigger and better things, I hope! For instance, more of this, please:

The finale sent off our secondary characters with variable success. Pros: Thea, sick of the lies, aligns with Papa Malcolm and Diggle needs to pick out a crib ’cause he gonna be a daddy! The meh: Quentin succumbs to his injuries and collapses in a bloody heap in Laurel’s arms, and Sara rejoins the League of Assassins as repayment for their clandestine assistance in stopping Slade.

For me, the pros outweighed the cons, and the second season proved itself a vast improvement over the first: more cohesive, more balanced, more confident. So, in that regard, I’m looking forward to season three, but I can’t shake the wish that Arrow had given us just a little something more.

Grade: B+

Chicago Fire, “Real Never Waits”

I’m not going to lie: Chicago Fire played it safe in its finale. It didn’t swing for the fences; instead, it seemed more content to tick off the boxes needed to put a bow on a solid and improved second season. Boden marries (at 51 because duh they’re family) with Mills officiating; Dawson passes her firefighter’s test; Casey proposes to Dawson at Boden’s wedding (Lt. Casey, ye hogger of limelight) but an emergency interrupts her response; a fire at a boarding school shakes Severide to his core, prompting him to buy a junky motorcycle rather than feel his feels; Shay continues to see the ragamuffin thief who ripped her off earlier in the season.

Narratively speaking, none of this would set the world on fire (ha! puns!), but it was serviceable and did its Chicago Fire thing throughout, so good for it. My favorite part of the finale, however, has to be the pairing of Eamonn Walker’s Boden with David Eigenberg’s Hermann. Sure, Eigenberg deserves more than B-plot status as Boden’s best man, but I’ll take whatever the show gives me. Season two made incremental improvements in giving this talented and underrated actor some better material (Lieutenant Hermann!), but I want to see that trend continue into season three.

I’m a sucker for a good cliffhanger, even if said cliffhanger relies on something obvious like a building explosion. But, man! A building exploded with all of 51 inside! The sequence played out with palpable tension, and we knew too much joy and reconciliation amongst the members of the squad would not last long. Hence, boom.

And what a chilling ending to the episode: Boden screaming into his radio for somebody–anybody–to report. REPOOOOOORT!

Grade: B

The Good Wife, “A Weird Year”

If you haven’t been watching The Good Wife this year, then you’re missing out on one of the best seasons of network drama in recent memory. Seriously, throughout its twenty-two episodes, The Good Wife managed to reinvent itself not once but twice. First with Alicia and Carey branching out from Lockhart/Gardner to start their own firm and then with one of the best small screen shockers ever: Will Gardner getting gunned down in a courtroom. Since Will’s death, Alicia has been reeling, and the show used her personal catastrophe to enrich and deepen arguably the best female character on television. Ladies and gentlemen, this is how you prevent a show from stagnating. Holy cow!

What’s even more impressive, next year seems headed on an exciting trajectory sure to give season five a run for its money in terms of quality. Despite concluding a season typified by shake-ups and surprises, this episode dealt mostly with the theme of inevitability. Alicia and Carey, after a seeming blissful start to their partnership, inevitably devolve into acrimonious debate over the issue of merging with Lockhart/Gardner; Zach graduates and inevitably leaves the nest; Finn’s District Attorney campaign inevitably crashes up against the reality of Chicago politics and ends before it began; Jackie inevitably butts in where she doesn’t belong; Diane inevitably leaves the firm she co-created (David Lee and Louis Canning are just the worst…don’t ever change) and asks for a position at Florrick/Agos. Such a wonderful sense of closure to this tumultuous (in the best sense of the word) season. Great stuff.

But then the doozy, the definitive period to end this season’s litany of game changers: Eli, struck by a sudden epiphany, turns to Alicia and asks if she would like to run for District Attorney. Mic drop. Fade to black. Yeah, you thought for a moment that Eli would confess to Alicia about deleting Will’s voicemail back in season two, but no. The ghost of Will Gardner would not face such summary dismissal; he’ll linger for a while longer, of that I have no doubt.

All in all, a fantastic finale to a brilliant season of television that, this deep into its run, had no business being this good. Is it September yet?

Grade: A

Nashville, “On the Other Hand”

At this point, Nashville is what it is: a night time soap that has lofty aspirations it cannot execute. Now, I’ll grant that this finale stands as a marked improvement over last year’s sudsy debacle, but that’s still not saying a hell of a lot.

I admit I am not the target audience, so the show’s “big moments” don’t land with me like Nashville hopes they will. Luke’s arena-staged (and super awkward) proposal to Rayna did not imbue me with giddy delight; likewise, Deacon’s counter-offered proposal later that night did not send me swooning. Sorry, but can we not end each season of this show with a proposal? Hey, wait a tick! You know what’s better than one proposal? Two? Can you sense my rolling eyes?

Scarlett’s character needs some serious revisiting, with her nervous breakdowns lacking pathos and coming across as unintentional comic relief. Gunnar seems to have persuaded her to stick around and not slink back to her po-dunk town (thanks to the gift of song because duh), but I don’t really care. Meanwhile, Teddy’s Teddying all over the place (ugh), Juliette shows up drunk to a sobriety event (stay classy), and Will comes out to his fiancee, unaware that a well-placed camera recorded his confession.

Hear that? It’s the sound of me straining to care.

Like I said, this show is what it is. It’s never going to be my favorite or even something I’ll admit to watching in public, but look: I dig the music, Connie Britton’s the best, and my wife likes it, okay?

Grade: C

Person of Interest, “Deus Ex Machina”

So we’re all in agreement that Person of Interest is now officially the scariest show on television, right? I mean, sheesh, with Samaritan not only up and running but also–if the closing shot of the episode is any indication–beginning to adopt a sentient sense of self, PoI pretty much warns us about the death of privacy in the modern world. And it’s terrifying. Yes, by the end of this fantastic episode, Greer and Decima Technologies emerge as the victors, and the cost is steep: our core group disbands to evade the watchful eye of Samaritan thanks to a bit of handy work from Root that essentially creates identity blind spots. Quick question: um, what’s the deal with Fusco? He should totally get out of Dodge, too, right? Fusco?

Person of Interest fully embraced the dark realities of surveilling citizens this year, turning in its strongest run of episodes yet. Season three will prove difficult to top, but I’m thrilled for the next chapter. One small point of contention: apparently, Peter Collier, the Vigilance leader/kangeroo court baddie, found himself at the wrong end of Greer’s long con. That Greer created Vigilance as a tangible threat to national security in order for him to prove the worth of Samaritan to the US government is one of those classic villain plots that makes no sense when given a millisecond of scrutiny; come on, Person of Interest, you’re better than that! Then again, I suppose we don’t have to bemoan this fact too much because Greer fired Collier very aggressively. Namely, he shot him.

Still, what a brilliant and frightening hour of television! Highlights of the episode included the intense trial (um, Control rocked my world) and the genius pairing of Reese and Hirsch kicking ass and taking names. Talk about a match made in heaven! Speaking of which, RIP Hirsch, you loony ‘toon you!

I absolutely cannot wait for the fourth season of this fantastic show because this finale left me with so questions swirling around my brain. How will our fateful heroes find each another again? How far will Person of Interest take this terrifying vision of government surveillance run amok? And, most important, how’s Bear?

Until the fall! And remember: Samaritan’s watching…

Grade: A

Thanks for reading, TV fanatics! Look for the third and final season finale report card next week!

Season Finale Report Card, Part 1

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
With the networks all yelling
And everyone praying “Hope to see you next year!”
It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It’s the sad -saddest season of all…
With those end of year meetings and depressing greetings
When cancellation comes to call
It’s the sad – saddest season of all…

There’ll be execs for roasting,
Unresolved plot lines for toasting,
And angry tears by moon’s glow.
There’ll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Beloved shows lost long ago!

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

That’s right, folks! Amidst the veritable bloodbath that is May sweeps, with networks axing approximately nine-tenths of their current lineups (*), we’ve still got to dust ourselves off, put our pants on, and face the world. Sure, we feel like curling up into the fetal position and never leaving our houses again because Community‘s been cancelled, but our ever-exploding DVRs are, as we know, cruel mistresses and do no halt recordings because we’re feeling all the feels. I mean, we’re swimming the stormy seas of nonstop season finales, am I right?

(*) Disclaimer: This statistic is in no way based in scientific fact and is–in the interest of candor–completely made up. But Community, noooooooooo!

Now that the first batch of shows have wrapped up for the season, I thought I’d do a quick report card, rate the shows for their final episodes only. Will you indulge me? Of course you will, you flirt! Let’s get to it!

Archer, “Archer Vice: Arrival/Departure”

While the whole “Archer Vice” experiment this year met with some divisive reactions from fans, I settled firmly in the “I dig it” camp. I mean, Archer had no real need to reinvent itself but chose to just for the sake of creativity. You gotta admire that. Fortunately for detractors, the season finale essentially assured us that this was a single season exercise, as the closing minutes of the episode find Mallory strong-arming the CIA into reestablishing ISIS. Along the way, the reign of Cyril met its end point, Ray hit on Christian Slater’s animated counterpart and arms dealer Slater (“So, what’s your deal?”), Krieger might or might not be a cloned version of himself (obvi), Lana gives birth to a baby girl while firing a machine gun, and Archer learns he’s a dad.

As with most Archer episodes, not every joke lands, but so many get fired at us, it would be impossible to keep up if they did; still, I enjoyed the finale thoroughly (um, do you see the picture above because duh it was funny). I can’t wait to see where these plotlines take our characters next season. Will Pam kick the coke habit? (God, I hope not.) Will Charlene continue her rise up the country music charts? Only time will tell, and I’m anxious to see our favorite spies thrust back into the espionage danger zone next year. Why aren’t we saying phrasing?!

Grade: B+

Community, “Basic Sandwich”

Clearly, you weren’t rubbing your nipples hard enough as Prof. Borchert encouraged because Community is over, cancelled just shy of fulfilling its #sixseasonsandamovie prophecy. I don’t want to talk about it.

I reviewed the episode already, so follow the link here.

http://overstuffeddvr.com/?p=343

Grade: A-

Hawaii Five-O, “O ka Pili ‘Ohana ka ‘Oi”

This show is an absolute blast, and if you’re not watching it, you should be. Look, it’s not the most original show around (it’s both a remake and a cop show, which is, I’ll grant you, sort of the double whammy of television recycling), but the game, up-for-anything cast, lead by Alex O’Loughlin as Steve McGarrett, Scott Caan as Danny Williams, Daniel Dae Kim as Chin Ho Kelly, Grace Park as Kono, make this show work. More than a standard CBS case-of-the-week procedural, Five-O has weaved itself an impressive serialized narrative over the course of its run, and the handling of the story in this way has–in the past–resulted in some of the absolute best season finales on television. Seriously.

Five-O‘s fourth season ender had its moments but failed to live up to the previous finales in its canon. Nick Jonas’s cyber-terrorist Ian Wright reappears and kidnaps Grover’s (the amazing Chi McBride Chi McBriding all over the place) daughter as leverage to help steal $100 million. The plot moves along at the show’s patented lightning-quick pace and leads to a happy ending: daughter rescued, Wright dead, and Grover offered a spot on the Five-O task force after getting the boot from HPD.

But, unlike in previous years, I’m not begging for more. Sure, Wo Fat is out there now, having broken out of a Colorado Maximum Security Prison after making a toilet bomb with his nitroglycerin heart meds (sure…), but the episode just sort of lets the Wo Fat stuff fizzle out after he shoots Ian. It’s disappointing since the season seemed to gear up for some more on this front with the revelation that Steve’s mom killed Wo Fat’s mom back in the day. Oh well, at least we got to see Steve and Danny tooling around Honolulu in that minuscule pseudo-car. Hilarity ensued.

In the end, fun episode but a tepid finale. ‘Til next year, Dano!

Grade: B-

The Mindy Project, “Danny and Mindy”

The show’s title is terrible and opening credit sequence equally bad, I’ll give you that, but the fact remains that Mindy Kaling’s hilarious show has quietly and confidently become one of television’s best comedies. Peppered with clever homages to the romantic comedies with which the show’s heroine is obsessed (Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail get the most play), Kaling created a truly romantic half hour that can cause shippers to rejoice: Danny and Mindy are like totally a thing now!

I’m not going to spoil the journey to the finish, but by the time you see Mindy lying on the observation deck of the Empire State Building gasping for air, you’re guaranteed to have a smile spread across your face. The tone for the finale felt damn near perfect, balancing outlandish comedy (attacking a foreign grad student on the subway, anyone?) with the kind of genuine, heartfelt emotion that grounds the show’s forays into hilarious absurdity. It doesn’t hurt that Morgan, the on-staff male nurse and ex-con, is one of the funniest sitcom creations in quite awhile.

Take note, television comedies: this is how you craft a season ender. I cannot wait for season three!

Grade: A

New Girl, “Cruise”

New Girl, New Girl, New Girl. What’s gotten into you lately? You used to hold the mantel of “appointment television,” but now it feels like a real chore just to get through your paltry twenty-three minutes. Many critics lay this season’s myriad problems at the feet of the doomed Jess-Nick pairing, but I think that’s a simplistic answer to a very complicated question.

The finale served as a microcosm of this season’s central issue: a lack of focus. I mean, this puppy’s been all over the place. Schmidt moved out, Schmidt moved in, Winston’s showering with his cat, Cece’s dating an Australian dude, Nick has an inherent fear of bank accounts, Winston’s a cop, Coach is back. Huh? Slow down there, New Girl. In trying to be all things to all fans, you ended up being nothing of consequence to anyone.

However, I will admit it took a brazen level of confidence to set this episode on a cruise ship, almost daring detractors to levy “jump the shark” declarations. The driving force of the narrative, Nick and Jess engaging in a post-breakup couples cruise (with the gang in tow bc duh…forgive the nautical pun, Schmidt!) because they couldn’t get a refund, had its moments as the two endured crotch-rubbing yoga and champagne under the stars, but too much choked the narrative to mine genuine comedy out of anything: Schmidt’s continued timid courtship of Cece (seriously, this story is moving at a glacial pace…too soon?), Winston playing matchmaker, Coach’s WAY over-the-top fear of boats. The only scene that sort of worked was when the gang found themselves trapped in the stateroom, forcing a cathartic truth-telling sesh. But, again, that was what, two minutes?

Fortunately, it seems like New Girl hit the reset button. In the end-tag, Nick and Schmidt rekindle their roommate love, an indication that things might be reverting back to a semblance of normalcy in the loft, whatever that means. All I know is that this finale–and season–was a mess but, what’s worse, it wasn’t even funny. Better luck next year, New Girl.

Grade: D

Parenthood, “The Pontiac”

It’s been renewed for a sixth and final season! Hurray, the Braverman clan will return for thirteen more episodes or, as I like to call them, thirteen more opportunities to rip my beating heart from its ribcage and stomp on it until I cry my eyes out. In other words, I can’t wait!

I already reviewed this episode, so check out the link here if you want a reminder or haven’t read it in the first place:

http://overstuffeddvr.com/?p=349

Grade: A-

Parks and Recreation, “Moving Up”

As if Parks and Recreation needed to cement its title as “Best Comedy on Television,” it went ahead and had The Decemberists (and the rest of the Unity Concert lineup) joining Andy Dwyer and Mouse Rat in a Li’l Sebastian tribute song. That the Unity Concert proved an unbridled success did not, in and of itself, surprise, but that’s not to say there weren’t surprises galore in what I would call one of the show’s best episodes ever.

To wit:

Ron outed himself as Duke Silver at the Unity Concert to prove to himself (and Tammy) that he is now a changed man. On the back of the influx of celebrities in Pawnee for the concert, Tom’s Bistro takes off (even if Donna had to threaten her baby cousin Ginuwine into making an appearance), Dr. Saperstein buries the hatchet with Tom and expresses interest in becoming an investor in the restaurant, Ben learns his accountant friends applied for a copyright to Cones of Dunshire in his name, Jean-Ralphio continues to be magical (“The only reason I wouldn’t be there is if I get pulled over… for violating my house arrest!”), and Leslie proves she can have it all, accepting the federal parks gig while also remaining in Pawnee thanks to a swift, metaphorical kick in the rump by Michelle Obama.

Sort of sounds like a series finale, doesn’t it? As the episode unfolded, you couldn’t help but notice that it continued to go out of its way to close out long-running plot lines and provide tangible resolution. But all of that was in service of the final twist: a time jump three years in the future.

That’s right, Leslie’s rocking bangs, Andy’s broken his arm, Ben’s abuzz with importance, Terry (aka Jerry) is still the worst, and then the triplets walk in! MIND EXPLOSION! Or, as Ben would say while watching Letters of Cleo from backstage:

I absolutely loved this finale and the brilliant decision to implement such a gutsy time jump leaves me salivating for next season (even though NBC has not, as of this writing, put it on its schedule). Also, I very much hope Jean-Ralphio and Craig are best friends in this near future because this cute-meet happened:

Jean Ralphio: “I like your energy, hombre. What do you say you and I ride go karts later?”

Craig: “I WANNA GO HORSEBACK RIDING!”

Hands down, this was my favorite season finale I’ve seen so far!

Grade: A+

Part two coming soon, so please check back in next week to see how some other favorite shows wrap up their seasons!

5 Reasons “Hell’s Kitchen” is TV’s Best Feel-Good Hour

If you’re not watching Hell’s Kitchen, currently airing its 4, 652 cycle of chefs doing a terrible job of being chefs, then what gives? Or as Gordon Ramsay would say:

Right? Dude’s got moxie. Look, some shows are misunderstood, and this is one of them. I mean, sure we tune in for our weekly televised version of primal screaming, but really, this show stands as one of the most heartwarming on television. We’re talking a show that will just warm the crap out of the cockles of your heart. And if it doesn’t, I guess you’re just RAW IN THE MIDDLE!

Still don’t believe me? Here are five reasons Hell’s Kitchen is TV’s best feel-good hour.

1) There’s Comfort In Its Predictability

Newsflash: it’s a kooky world out there, folks. Our daily lives are rife with such tumultuous uncertainty that, at times, giving yourself over to routine has its own comfort. And let me tell you, if you wear your TV reliability like a warm blanket on a rainy night, then consider Hell’s Kitchen a Snuggie.

Point is, if you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen ’em all. Structurally speaking, of course.

The minute you hear the sweet words, “Now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…” the table sets itself. (Ha! Culinary puns!) The remaining contestants shuffle off to the dorms after Gordon bemoans their “dreadful” or “embarrassing” performance (usually inviting them to “piss off”), the teams swear to bounce back, contestants wake on a new day to a random challenge that always comes down to the final two dishes, one team gets whisked away to a reward (impromptu trip to Vegas anyone?), the other team undergoes a torturous punishment (with a fifty-fifty shot of consuming offal or goat testicles for lunch just cuz), dinner service becomes an invariable horror show, Gordon screams, scallops find themselves undercooked, Gordon punches raw fish even though the fish might not deserve it, a team wins (usually), a team loses, two (or perhaps four) people find themselves up for elimination after a spirited debate that typically keeps censors on their toes, the two on the chopping block pathetically beg to remain, Gordon aggressively points at someone and kicks them out, said dismissed contestant gives up his or her jacket and walks off slow-mo down the hallway before confessing to the camera that Gordon has it wrong (spoiler: he never does), Gordon tells the remaining contestants to step it up and sends them away, dramatic redemption music cues, Gordon stomps up to his fake office (his zinger-filled voice-over eviscerating the “skills” of the discarded chef as he does so), he impales the coat on a hanger, and the eliminated contestant finds his or her picture incinerated by an unexplained force of Gordon Ramsay black magic.

Sound familiar? The answer is yes because duh. I mean, we have variations on this theme. For instance, sometimes the lamb gets massacred during service or some buffoon humiliates himself or herself doing table side service, but even these fall in the familiar repertoire of Hell’s Kitchen. In these chaotic times, it’s nice to know there’s some stability out there. And it will never not be amazing to behold the wonder of a Gordon Ramsay kitchen-clearing drive-by: “You. You. You. You. GET OUT!”

Ah, the comforts of routine…

2) The Contestants Make You Feel As Fit as an Olympian

I’m not one to criticize someone for their girth or lifestyle choices, but damn, Hell’s Kitchen contestants! I’ll admit that, over the years, the sizes of some of them have been downright alarming on a moral level but oddly encouraging for a good ego boost. Human nature, am I right?

Contestants, keep doing whatever it is you are or–more likely–are not doing because this show does wonders for one’s self esteem. Skipped a month on the treadmill? Well, at least you don’t get winded slicing onions! Indulged in that extra slice (or three) of pizza? At least an on-staff medic hasn’t deemed you physically unfit to cook spaghetti!

You might think those who work in the food service industry would have a better understanding of nutrition and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but boy don’t these contestants seem (almost universally) to smoke more than any single person you currently know or have previously known? Next time there’s a clip of them shooting the breeze or angrily ordering one another to go back to the supermarket, check out that ashtray: looks like a model of the Amazon jungle that uses cigarette butts for trees.

The bottom line? Watching Hell’s Kitchen will provide your questionable eating and exercise choices with a heaping portion of perspective. You’ll walk away saying, well at least I’m not like that. Thanks for the schadenfreude, HK!

3) The Contestants Make Your Friends and Family Seem Far Less Dysfunctional By Comparison

Each subsequent season of Hell’s Kitchen manages to one-up the previous year in terms of absolutely insane contestants. And talk about anger! You remember that bald dude from the original Night of the Living Dead who bursts out of the basement and is instantly furious for no real reason (setting aside a zombie apocalypse)? Well picture upwards of sixteen people exactly like that crowded into a high pressure work environment and slovenly dorms. Fireworks ensue.

The perpetual dorm squabbles, verbal battles, and interpersonal bickering is a highlight of this show, and it certainly makes those politically charged holiday meals you share with your family seem considerably less dramatic. Thanks, Hell’s Kitchen for proving that no matter how crazy you feel like your family and friends are, there’s always a group of batsh*t crazies just around the corner.

But enough talking. If pictures are worth a thousand words, then cozy up for the photographic version of both War and Peace and the unabridged edition of The Stand combined.

How about these two besties?

Or these affable chums? Hint: They are not about to make out.

Let’s not forget about that one cousin who gets drunk on holidays and starts defending her poor decisions.

Or how about this mentally unstable character?

See, don’t you feel better about your family and friends already? Thanks, Hell’s Kitchen! I have no idea what I’d do without you in my life to help me through the tough times and provide me with some much-needed perspective. Probably, I’d be making this face a lot more often:

4) You Don’t Suck This Badly At Your Job

Seriously, if your boss gets on your case for mismanaging your time or taking too long on that spreadsheet, just think about the chuckleheads on Hell’s Kitchen. I’m convinced more raw (“It’s RAW IN THE MIDDLE!”) and overcooked scallops (“It’s like a ******* hockey puck!”) have been thrown in the garbage due to this show than have ever existed in the world’s oceans since the dawn of time.

And don’t even get me started on the risotto!

That’s to say nothing of the general milieu of incompetence that seems to beleaguer every blue team at the start of this competition. I don’t have a clue where they find these men from, but holy hell, this group of dim-witted simpletons can never seem to get out of their own way. I’m talking unable to dress a salad! Raw chicken! The works!

And we wouldn’t have it any other way, would we? HK fills us with hope, week in and week out, that even if our own jobs are difficult and overwhelming, at least we’re able to function at our workplace. Plus, Gordon Ramsay restores our faith in humanity; at the end of each episode, the biggest bumbling fool of the bunch gets the boot. Ain’t it refreshing to see that incompetence isn’t rewarded for once?

I feel better about my career (and the world in general) just thinking about it! Thanks, Hell’s Kitchen!

5) Gordon’s Priceless Life Advice

Never settle in life. In his own rage-fueled way, that’s the point Gordon wants to get across, and doesn’t that sort of fill you with hope for a better tomorrow? Have a little integrity, a little resolve, and life will reward you.

To wit:

“Everything you’ve touched tonight, so far, has been screwed.”

“Look at that. Overcooked on the bottom, crispy as **** and it looks like Ghandi’s flip flop!”

“Oh my God. Right now I’d rather eat poodle **** than put that in my mouth”

“Try not to throw it on there, yeah? We’re cooking, we’re not playing darts!”

“It’s fitting that you made this in Vegas because whoever eats this is sure to get the craps.”

Game. Set. Match.

I’m telling you, you’ll never feel better about your life than after finishing an episode of Hell’s Kitchen. Currently in its twelfth season, it airs on Thursdays on Fox at 8:00. Set your DVR! Self-esteem guaranteed to improve when you watch this, the most feel-good show on television.

Parenthood S05E22: “The Pontiac”

…an episode reminding us all the importance of “addressing the big tomato in the room.”

Let’s face it: Parenthood is a perennial bubble show. Thankfully, its creator, Jason Katims, goes out of his way to wrap up each season with tangible closure; after all, its solid-but-unspectacular ratings could have spelled cancellation on any number of occasions. The fact that Katims treats each season finale as a potential series finale leaves us with a sense that–should this be the end–we would feel satisfied. Sure, dangling plot threads tantalize for future seasons, but each year, we find the majority of the ongoing narratives at least intimating at some kind of definitive resolution.

Fortunately for us, this year proved no different because this ep had it all. Couples reunited! Huge life changes transpired! Crosby and Adam mattress-tobogined down some stairs! Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t love everything about the finale (Joel had to stick it to me one last time before the credits rolled, didn’t he?), but the episode’s clear intention, leaving its loyal audience satisfied, helped me overlook some of the more problematic developments. After all, Parenthood remains my TV blind spot; I’ll never not love this damn show. I’m sorry I’m not sorry: it just makes me feel all of the feels!

Well what do you say, shall we dive in one final time, for old time’s sake?

Haddie and Lauren

Fantastic news! Haddie did not fall down a well, meet a clan of CHUDs, and run for mayor of their underground society never to be heard from again! Actually, she’s been at college this whole time. Ha! Classic Haddie! Turns out, she vanished from the face of the earth because she’s been struggling with her sexuality. I’m not sure about you, but this was not such a surprising development; I’m no sleuth, but even I was all, “Wait a tick, Missy” when she introduced the delightful young lady clambering out of the taxi as her “good friend” Lauren.

But then even for those of us denser than Adam,** the truth likely became evident when Haddie and Lauren proceeded to make mouth noises with each other while sitting on Haddie’s bed. “Oh, they’re together!” you likely exclaimed, reality finally dawning on you. Of course Max is the one to barge in on this intimate moment and essentially out his sister to Kristina while suit shopping because, as Barney Stinson knows, there ain’t no truth telling party like a custom-tailored truth telling party.

**How sweetly pathetic was Haddie’s attempt to come out to her father in the kitchen? Dude couldn’t see past his own nose for real, just kept droning on about how college friends are the best kind of lifelong friends, blah blah blah. Such a great, understated scene. Kitchens were important for Adam throughout this process because it finally occurs to him what Lauren really means when she tells him how much she loves Haddie. It gave Adam some real food for thought, huh? (#CulinaryPuns)

Inevitably, of course, Haddie’s “very Berkley” parents are supportive and wonderful when she finally does tell them that she is in love with Lauren, and as an added treat we get a vintage Kristina-Haddie bedroom chit chat. On the one hand, this felt like a fairly abrupt character development for someone who’s been MIA for awhile now. Even though I do like how Haddie’s coming out wasn’t the “big event” of the episode, I still can’t shake the feeling that this could have been handled with a tad more subtlety and patience.

Still, that brief adorable moment between Haddie and Lauren hanging up lights, followed by Kristina’s happy-my-daughter’s-happy smile? Perfect.

Hank and Sarah

It’s time to address the tomato in the room: Hank is totes the best! I mean, he even stayed overnight in San Diego just to make sure Sarah and Amber were hanging in there. Aww, shucks, Hank, you big softie you. It seems perfect that what finally draws Sarah back to him, despite her initial admitted recalcitrance,*** stems from his interaction with Amber; for Sarah, it makes sense that a man who takes an interest in her kids would turn her crank. She’s totally DILFing all over the place, right?

***What a real, honest conversation during Hank’s car ride home with Sarah, am I right? How refreshing to see adults acting like adults on television. You listening, every Chuck Lorre show ever?

I’m not sure anyone found themselves hornswoggled (#BringingItBack) by this turn of events, but YAY! Not much else to report, but kudos to Parenthood for making Sarah’s journey back to Hank last for the duration of the season; it felt neither rushed nor contrived, thanks to a pair of utterly spectacular performances from Lauren Graham and Ray Romano. On the heels of that iconic kiss in the photography studio, I’m just going to throw it out there: the thought of Hank becoming a full-fledged member of the Braverman clan delights me to my very core. Oh man, I think I’m coming down with something…I hope I’m not catching…The fever!

Cue “Burning Down the House” and grab your dancing shoes, Hank. I love where this is headed!

Julia and Joel

Parenthood has a unique skill: it can sell implausibility with aplomb by encasing it in heart-melting emotions. Last year, Max defied logic by becoming Student Council President, but who cared? I was too busy bawling my eyes out to question it. This time, the unlikely turn of events had a similar emotional heft: Victor wins an essay contest. Never mind that the boy could barely read early in the season, but sure because aww. If you didn’t melt into a watery puddle of tears when Victor read his essay about the metaphorical significance of building the Pontiac with Zeek, then you sir or madam have no heart and should donate your heartless body to science. So there!

Despite this considerable narrative leap, I dug how Victor’s academic success brings Joel and Julia closer together, a nice circular touch since the issue of holding him back was one of the first wedges in their marriage earlier in the season.

After a day of sugar comas and near-normalcy, however, Sydney is not ready to say goodbye to Joel and asks him to stay. In true Sydney fashion, this initial request soon devolves into bratty caterwauling and arm pulling, leaving Joel with little choice but to acquiesce to his daughter’s emotional manipulation. Ugh. The. Worst. Joel not only sticks around but also creates the lower bun of a Sydney sandwich: lying in bed with his wife and daughter, he recounts the epic tale of Sydney’s birth, or The Day That Joy Died as its known in some Satanist circles. It becomes clear, however, that such an account means more to him than the power to order Zeek out of the delivery room–as hinted at previously, Joel’s love for his family defines him.

From a storytelling standpoint, I like that the episode refused to end with a huge declaration of recommitment on Joel’s part.**** On the other hand, the fact that he didn’t means that this aggravating storyline could bleed over into next year. For a show that takes pride in its self-contained seasons, why–for all that is holy–does this plot still linger? If next season doesn’t find Joel and Julia working toward making their marriage work, I’ll be so mad, you guys.

****Though, admit it, you wanted him to make an eleventh hour appearance at the family dinner, cliches be damned, didn’t you?

Let’s put this problematic plot behind us, shall we? You know I love you Parenthood, but one season of this tried my patience. But a second season? I might have to pull a Sydney. And no one wants that.

Elsewhere, Zeek and Camille move out of The Braverman Homestead but not before sharing a sun-dappled dance through their empty home, Crosby comes clean about a grade school birdhouse, Amber buys a pregnancy test (ahem, immaculate conception much?), Ryan plans to return with his mother to the Wyoming town he abhors, and Drew inherits Zeek’s Pontiac***** and drives to Oregon to reciprocate Natalie’s declaration of love .

*****An absolutely excellent resolution for Zeek to pass it on to his grandson, even if he’s the worst mover of the lot. Maybe now Drew can drive himself to a barber shop and get an actual haircut. Sorry, Drew, but #ToughLove.

It’s been a mostly excellent season of Parenthood, wouldn’t you say? Certainly not perfect, but then again what family is? Even when Sydney makes me want to punch a puppy or Joel acts decidedly un-Joel, this remains one of the best network dramas for a simple reason: even when the bigger overarching plots don’t fully work, there’s no other show on television that depicts the nuanced minutia of life as well as Parenthood.

If nothing else, that’s got to land us a sixth season. Thanks for reading!

Conversation Around the Dinner Table

– Hank: “Here’s some coffee.”

Sarah: “Thanks.”

Hank: “It tastes like pepper and soap.”

– Adam: “Why are you so uncomfortable with your soft side? It’s a beautiful birdhouse. Very feminine.”

– Ryan: “This isn’t for you to fix, okay?”

– Hank: “Yeah, I’m sticking around.” #BestInLawEver

Community S05E13: “Basic Sandwich”

…an episode reminding us all the importance of “pick axing and electric zapping.”

For most of Community‘s run, Jeff Winger’s disdainful attitude toward Greendale often set him at (admittedly temporary) odds with his friends. He refused to accept the fact that, like it or not, being both a student and now professor at Greendale is part of his DNA. Given recent Internet speculation, there’s a possibility that “Basic Sandwich” could serve as a series finale to this underdog comedy, and if that’s the case, Jeff embracing this crazy place with pride feels like an excellent way to conclude his arc. As the old saying goes: it ain’t perfect, but it’s home.

As we anticipated from last week’s bonkers set-up episode, the discovery of the treasure map led our gang to the depths of Randall Borchert’s secret lair of computer love-making.** This wasn’t the zaniest half hour Community has put together, but I’m sort of glad; at times this season, in his zeal to reestablish the Community of old, Harmon overextended himself. Sometimes the gimmick worked; sometimes it didn’t. I’m glad he reined it in a bit here without sacrificing the funny because boy did this episode (like its predecessor) crack me up, and let’s be honest–even with its relative restraint–this still felt like no other comedy on television.

**Chris Elliot btw, donning the grossest beard this side of Duck Dynasty, absolutely killed it. The man seductively licked his computer lover, Racquel (excellent name), for crying out loud! That’s commitment!

Along the way, though, Community treated us to some hilarious sequences, didn’t it? Professor Duncan’s electrocution and subsequent hallucination of doves (though not enough to mark the wedding of Britta and Jeff, obvi), Dean Pelton choking on an action figure’s rocket (not a euphemism), Abed’s fourth-wall shattering wink to the audience, what I can only describe as a prolonged “shush” off, and School Board Richie’s “mind robbery” of Hickey (“You’ll find a hang-glider!”) all stood as vintage moments for this show–call them canon. Pelton was right: a one hour episode of The Office this was not. When it comes down to it, we’re watching this show to laugh, and–if you have a pulse and a sense of humor–you undoubtedly did so. Also, Community answered a burning question, and Jeff and Pelton agree on its answer: Donald Sutherland. ‘Nuff said.

But, in the tradition of the best installments of this show, the comedy had some real heft to hang its hat on. In addition to Jeff’s aforementioned pride in Greendale, we also had some great news for those shipping the U.S.S. JeffNie. After the school board guys and Chang*** follow our group down to Borchert’s lab and break Racquel (damn pesky pickle magnets!), our favorite computer humping scientist realizes he needs more emotion than that generated by the erotic teasing of his own nipples. And, lo and behold, Jeff of all people volunteers to jumpstart Borchert’s disturbing sex object/miracle of technology.

***Chang, please try to rip your face off in alternating episodes from now on because that will never not be funny.

Throughout the episode, Annie struggled with the news of Jeff’s proposal to Britta,**** clearly unable to move past her own feelings for him. So JeffNie shippers no doubt rejoiced when it was a season one callback that rebooted Racquel (“M’lord”/”M’lady.”) Aww! So cute, you guys. Thanks to Jeff’s newfound font of what the pleebs call “emotions,” the group escapes and interrupts Subway’s press conference/purchase of Greendale with an announcement of Borchert’s status as ongoing stakeholder in the college.

****Though fortunately by show’s end, the novelty of the joke wears off, leading them to drop the schtick. Phew. Even for Community, that got weird.

Greendale saved! Sorry, evil conglomerate. You might have wanted to turn Greendale into a parking lot because you don’t believe in it, but as Pelton retorts, that’s just a Wednesday: Greendale is a family used to being overlooked, undervalued, and dismissed out of hand. At this point, such scorn has lost its impact because being the underdog is all they know. Pretty poetic, eh?

If this is the end–really, truly, the end of Community–I have to admit, I would be satisfied. I guess it just Depends On What Fails, am I right? Ha! Great stinger! Sure, I would follow these characters and their zany antics to the end of time and hope desperately that it returns to fulfill its #sixseasonsandamovie promise, but this two-part finale reminded us what makes this show so special. Season five didn’t completely absolve its fourth season self of its myriad issues (had quite a few on its own, actually), but television is just a better place with Greendale on the map.

I hope to write another thirteen such reviews for the show, but for now, let’s not lament the possibility of cancellation but celebrate a story well-told and loaded with laughs. Because, at its best, Community soared to mind-boggling creative heights the likes of which a network sitcom has never seen. That’s got to mean something, right NBC?

That’s your cue, Starburns! Fire up the DMB!

Quotes from the Refurbished Study Room

– Pelton: “Some people said he hid his money using a portal to another dimension. Those people were on LSD. Everyone else said he had a secret vault in his office.”

– Pelton: “Oh, look! It’s Jeff Winger Fun Police! He’s here to pull over our smiles because our mouths have tinted windows!”

– Duncan [recently electrocuted]: “Married? Well then you’re going to need way more doves that this.”

– Abed: “Let me rip off the band-aid. Dennis Hopper is dead; TV shows leave no room for theme songs anymore; Woody Allen supplied the voice of a cartoon ant.” Ha! Excellent recap of pop culture for Borchert!

– Abed: “We’ll definitely be here next year. If not, it’s because an asteroid has destroyed all of human civilization. And that’s canon.” [Smiles into camera]

Justified S05E13: “Restitution”

…an episode reminding us all the importance of “not getting between family.”

Now that the curtains gave gone up on this fifth season of Justified, we can just dispense with the euphemisms and speak the truth, right? You know it; I know it: season five will not go down as the strongest in the show’s cannon, and the finale–despite its promise–did little to, well, uh…justify some of the bumpier plot machinations. Look, I still enjoyed the show and eagerly look forward to what the next and final string of episodes will bring, but it’s clear from the resolution of this year’s story, Graham Yost and company want it over with as much as we do.

Because season five was really little more than a set-up? Really? While I Iook forward to seeing how things will play out next year, I take issue when an entire season’s purpose ultimately reduces to filler of no real consequence. We watched thirteen stepping-stones that carried us to the end game; sure, they were mostly fun and of a great quality, but it’s as if Justified forgot this season should also stand on its own. Because I’m not sure that happened this year.

But before we get to the real purpose of this inconsistent season, we did receive quite a bit of closure on the majority of the season’s narratives. Darryl Crowe is dead** but not before Wendy catches him on tape confessing to Art’s shooting! Kendall and Wendy–ever the dysfunctional mother-son team–retreat to the warmer climes of Florida once charges against the youngest Crowe are dropped! Art makes a (seemingly) full recovery! Rachel’s promotion to Interim Chief a few weeks ago now wins the title of Most Useless Plot Development because it didn’t change one iota of her criminally-underdeveloped character! Ava gets the prison release she needs, and viewers everywhere shrug with apathy!

**Dammit! Note to self: do not schedule family vacations anywhere within one hundred miles of Harlan County first of all because duh it’s the armpit of the universe. But also tons of Crowes died! Dilly! Danny! Darryl! An unfortunate turn of events for the alliterative trio.

We knew that we would get to watch Boyd outsmart Mr. Yoon’s goons (#HilariousBandName), and boy did we ever! I mean, yeah, Alberto executed Jimmy, which seemed to steam Boyd’s beans, but our favorite thesaurus-loving hoodlum channeled that anger into a veritable “gotcha” moment. First, though, he tried to convince Alberto’s henchmen to defect against their boss and go party in Vegas Crowder-style. They were all like, “Yup. Bring on the $5 all you can eat lobster.” Psych! They totally tricked Boyd into thinking they would sell out Alberto but were totes joshing all along. Haha! Classic cartel/frat boy behavior! Those guys!

Alberto then dons his professor’s tweed jacket, grabs his murderizing kit, and thoughtfully gives Boyd a very detailed lecture on the fine art of animal skinning. Now, I don’t want to read too much into things, but I think Alberto might have been intimating that he would do the same to Boyd? I’m telling you, Alberto has this skin fetish weirdness that also–hear me out–leads me to believe he might not be the congenial cartel hit man he seems to be. Dude’s an enigma wrapped in a mystery is my point. Layers.

Fortunately, Boyd does not receive the business end of Alberto’s human skin peeler because his phone rings just in time. Somebody call Professor Belding because homeboy is saved by the bell, er…vibrating cell phone. Really, filleting Boyd was just a benefit, the cherry on top. Alberto’s real business is with Darryl Crowe for his tomfoolery in the Mexican desert. Turns out he agrees to meet at Ava’s country house, so Boyd and his three disturbingly violent captors head out. Except it’s not Darryl Crowe who pulls up; it’s Rachel and Tim,*** who expertly kill Alberto and one of his goons before Boyd kills the other. Well played Boyd! And so very thoughtful of you to keep Darryl out of it so that Raylan has enough time to clear Kendall’s name. What a prince!

***Kudos to these two for giving Ava’s house a much-needed upgrade vis a vis riddling its facade with bullet holes and shattering its crappy windows. Girl, you ever heard of curb appeal? I know you’ve been languishing in prison, but that ain’t no excuse for letting your family home go to pot. Send those marshals a gourmet cheese basket for jumpstarting the demolition process. Get it together, girl!

Speaking of Raylan, I’m glad Wendy could salvage his plan to ensure Kendall’s release because waxing poetic on the nostalgic memories of one’s first animal murder was not cutting it. Man, this guy is going to come up with just the BEST bedtime stories for his daughter. (That is, if he ever gets his responsibility-dodging keister down to Florida!) In the end, Wendy–spying through the mirror during this unsuccessful interview–realizes Kendall is innocent, gets Darryl to confess on tape to shooting Art, then shoots the self-appointed Crowe patriarch in the neck! But even better, Raylan watches him squirm and slowly die, basically blowing raspberries at him and saying “Nanny, nanny poo poo” as Darryl slips into the cold embrace of sweet oblivion. (#GivensJustice)

With the Crowe kerfuffle wrapped up, Art rejoining the land of the conscious, and a transfer to Florida in the works, it seems like Raylan finally runs out of excuses. Time to man up and be a papa! He even Skypes with Winona, who basically devolves into a hysterical mess at the thought of a nap. But wait! Rachel and Vasquez ask Raylan to stay on a little longer to help them with their real target, the man at the epicenter of most of the cases that have crossed Raylan’s desk over the years: Boyd Crowder. Oh snap! Looks like pesky distractions such as being an emotional support to the frazzled mother of your child as well as an actual present father will have to wait! Justice calls! Excellent set-up, and a great plot for the final season. But also: any excuse, ain’t that right, Raylan?

Then Ava gets released from prison when witnesses start recanting their testimonies. Um, sure. Given how sloppily handled this strand of the narrative has been, I briefly considered the possibility of Justified just flipping us off and caving to some deus ex machina. But then it hit me because duh: she’s working with the Marshal’s office. And of course she is. She even meets Raylan in the middle of Sketchy Meetings Bridge! Ava’s a turncoat! (#BringingItBack) Looks like what Boyd perceived as a heartwarming homecoming and possibility of rekindling a broken relationship is actually a duplicitous attempt to provide intel on a pending RICO investigation. Relationships, am I right?

It might not have been my favorite season of Justified, but I’ve got to admit I’m stoked for next year. Let’s face it: even a mediocre string of episodes of this show dwarfs the quality of most others on the air; Justified has set the bar very high for itself, and it couldn’t clear it consistently this year. But that’s okay because the collision of Raylan Givens and Boyd Crowder has, of course, resided at the heart of this mostly-excellent series, so bringing that back around as the final narrative makes sense and will provide the perfect closure. Also it will provide lots of bullet casings and quips because, um, is this Justified or is this Justified?

Until next year, friends! Yon git outta here now, ya hear?

Harlan Chit-Chat

– Tim [to Darryl]: “While I appreciate your concern, this here, this might as well be a slow night in the champagne room for how comfortably erect I’m gonna be watching your bitch ass squirm about.”

– Alberto: “Wyn Duffy told me he executed you.”

Boyd: “Well, maybe I took a page from the Book of Mark and have risen.”

– Raylan [seeing Wendy holding a gun to Darryl’s genitals]: “Uh, what did I miss?”

– Raylan [to a dying Darryl]: “Didn’t I tell you you’d wish I’d kill you? Well, don’t you?”

– Raylan: “And you want me to help you?”

Rachel: “Before you go, yeah.”

Raylan: “Why didn’t you just say so?”

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