*Disclaimer: Read the following in your best Fargo-inspired Midwestern drawl. OK? Ya, you betcha!*
Well, hiya there! We sure hope you all are enjoyin’ that warm weather because, well heck, it’s colder ‘n a moose’s buttocks in December here in Bemidji. Storm of the century some are callin’ it. And, heck, it ain’t the only storm that’s been clearin’ its throat ’round these parts of late.
There’s this real strange fellah by the name of Lorne Malvo cuttin’ his bloody swath right through the center ‘a town, don’t cha know? Shootouts in the snowbanks, crickets in the produce aisle, duck-taping co-conspirators to firearms, blackmailing, and the like. Something’s fishy with that one…
…but don’t worry because Molly Solverson and Gus Grimly from Deluth are on the case. Sure, Gus accidentally shot Molly in the chaos of that humdinger of a storm, but she’ll get over it. She’s a tough one, that Molly Solverson, a gal of real grit. Plus, she’s got to keep her eye on Lester Nygaard because of that nasty business with the Chief and Lester’s poor wife, Pearl. When she looked in on Lester in his hospital room, nursing his previously infected hand, didn’t ya just feel her grit? She’s got real grit does that Molly. Ya, you betcha she does.
Now, gosh, my ma told me it’s better to say nothin’ rather than say somethin’ rude, but that Lester Nygaard, he’s a real slippery such-and-such. I mean, heck, he’s not only dodgin’ the police but even seems to be enjoyin‘ it, don’t ya know? Now he’s even tryin’ to cast suspicion on his own brother by plantin’ a firearm in his nephew’s backpack! He’s just Bemidji’s own Walter White now if ya want to know the truth. Ya, I know. Ya. It’s bad.
I hope this is gettin’ you real excited to join us in Fargo, but I can see you might need a little more convincin’ because I can tell you’re not the cold-weather type. Still, this is one of the best shows of the year, you betcha it is, so ya should really drop on by. We’ve got some great locals here, like Stavros Milos the supermarket king (don’t mind his little religious crisis right now as he’s goin’ through a rough patch what with the blackmailing, biblical plagues, his son passin’ and all), interim police chief Bill Oswalt, and diner own Lou Solverson. There’s some real strange things to keep ya on yer toes, too, like fish falling from the sky for one. Sorta strange, wouldn’t ya say? Lucky for us, we got lots of pretty landscape to look at when the goin’ gets tough, and the cameras don’t miss an inch of it. Real cinematic stuff.
Oh geez, would ya look at the time there? That sidewalk ain’t gonna shovel itself. Did I mention they’re calling it the storm of the century? I’m not one for much guess work (I’ll leave that to Molly Solverson and her grit), but somethin’ tells me the storm’s far from over. We here in Bemidji haven’t seen the last of it yet. Not by a long shot.
Fargo airs its final two episodes of the season this and next Tuesday at 10 pm on FX. You betcha it does. Don’t go missin’ it now.